quote of the week

[tireburner163]

I'm starting a quote of the week. Every week I will post two new quotes. One will be funny, one will be serious

This quote is something my grandfater told to me. Man I miss him

"If at first you don't succeed, screw it, don't be a hard-headed son of a *****"

Here's the second one

"Nothing is quite so frightening as the beginning......except perhaps the end"

[6T9PONY]

*sniff, sniff*....those brought tears to my eyes man....Just joking....those were actually 2 pretty cool quotes.....I'll be waiting for next weeks now....

[Mercury]

Hmmmm sounds like your Grandpa and my Grandpa might have been friends Tireburner.

My Grandpa is one of my best friends, He live in PA and I talk to him alot on the phone.

I need all the words of Wisdom I can get.

[6T9PONY]

yeah you do need all you can get of them Merc....geez.....

just playin man

[PKRWUD]

You can borrow some of my favorites if you like:

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word.

The difference between meat and fish is that if you beat your fish it dies.

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Remember: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH !!!

If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

If you can't beat them..... then they're not tied down properly!

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost
a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Hells Angel with an attitude.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.



And then there's the correction I have found myself having to make lately:

* * * * * * * CORRECTION * * * * * * *
In the past, I have claimed that Microsoft was "...an evil, self serving company with monopolistic tendencies."
I apologize for the error; "self-serving" is a compound adjective and I, of course, should have hyphenated it.


Enjoy-
~Chris

[6T9PONY]

pshhhh.......yeah...duh.....hyphenation....how could you forget THAT of all things!?!?!!!?!?

Just tryin to get you back.....

[mustangdani55]

Chris...i didn't realize you were so philosophical... racers usuallyaren't that deep... and dude beeeeleive me that was really deep. loved it...

[topless tire fryer]

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

Single white male, looking for a good woman who enjoys long walks to the fridge for beer.

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a ****.
3. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6. Ahhh, I see the ****-up fairy has visited us again.
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
8. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
10. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
13. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
15. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
17. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
20. No, my powers can only be used for good.
21. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
22. You sound reasonable...time to up my medication.
23. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
24. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
25. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
26. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
27. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

Useful Expressions for those HIGH STRESS days:
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of ****ing sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Do I look like a ****ing people-person?
4. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

And:
Pie, its not just for breakfast anymore

[Mercury]

This is my Personal favorite. I try to live by it.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve.

Words to live by there.

[73 Mustang Boy]

I found this quote hanging in one of my friends dorm rooms yesterday. "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." I thought it was funny and I would share it with everyone.

[6T9PONY]

I've heard one fairly similar to 73 Mustang Boys....it was like "Beer is God's way of getting fat chicks some loving too." Something like that....

No disrespect for anyone who may take offence to that....

[LowDown]

"It is God's job to forgive Osama Bin Laden."
"It is the Army's job to arrange a face to face meeting."

[matt cook]

I always liked this one:

I may have been born yesterday...
but I stayed up all night.