This Is Why I Live In The South!!/TOO FUNNY!/

Topless In Texas · 12-10-2002, 03:35 AM

THIS IS TOO DAMN FUNNY NOT TO SHARE W/ YA'LL YANKEES UP YONDER THERE!!!!!

Got this email the other day...... LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

TNT

December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a
Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be
a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I
did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to
shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a
white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so
much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l
don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our
neighbor.

December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8"last night. The temperature dropped
to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away,
but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour,
which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when
she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by
twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store
around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another
shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the
city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt
till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel
and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed
again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his
truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the
******* is lying.

December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she
nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but
I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a ***** who
drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat
him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and
waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the
wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but
I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop
tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate
the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit
him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I
think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was
all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE ***** is
driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now
suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for
trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ***. The wife went home to her
mother. 9" predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

12-10-2002, 04:20 AM

*LMAO*

Alot of this sounds like our winter weather here in South Dakota

MustangKelly96 · 12-10-2002, 07:27 AM

LMAO!

Not quite that extreme here in IN, but by the time Spring decides to make an apperance I am always more than ready for warm weather and no f***ing SNOW!!!

Thanks for the laugh Christine

Kelly

jj_jonathon · 12-10-2002, 12:43 PM

still no snow here in florida....nope...we get two days of rain...strong thunderstorms and tornado watches...Oooo!...lol....i couldnt see 100ft infront of me driving back up here yesterday on the highway....the trucks brake lights were only visible up close....horribly scary....*shudder*....longest its ever taken me to do that drive...

bigred90gt · 12-10-2002, 12:45 PM

That is the funniest ***** I've seen all day. Thanks, I needed that!!!!!!

Caymon

lx mike · 12-10-2002, 02:36 PM

Snow??

heheheh

JaxTheDJ · 12-10-2002, 07:16 PM

That must be the stuff they are always talking about on the weather channel,been meaning to see some of it one day ***Snikker**::::::::::fleeeeeeeeee

MTU 50 · 12-10-2002, 07:23 PM

That's still a classic story.

The first time I heard it was about 8 years ago and it still gives me a chuckle.

We've had 41 inches so far this year.

Crazy Horse GT · 12-11-2002, 02:02 AM

lmao, except for the ocassional 2 foot snow we get about every ten years , we dont get a lot, THAT'S WHY I LIVE IN THE SOUTH, lol.

MissBlondie · 12-11-2002, 03:52 PM

That's great! Not quite that bad here in Chicago. It's funny how at the beginning of the season everyone is in the spirit and doesn't mind it so much, but after scrappin the ice off your vehicle after work for the 6th week in a row, it becomes not so pretty and fun anymore.... Plus the snow gets brown on the roads

woohoo it's a high of 44 today right now!

Stang_Crazy · 12-11-2002, 05:54 PM

Pittsburgh winters haven't been very bad the last few years...Did I just jinx it this year by saying that??

I still remember back in 94 or 95 when we got 20+ inches of snow in 20 hours. I hope that doesn't happen again...

mustanggt_50 · 12-11-2002, 06:13 PM

LMFAO, thats funny.

hehe, but i know what its like to shovel snow, pain in the ***

12-10-2002, 03:35 AM	#1
Topless In Texas Not broken anymore! Join Date: May 2001 Location: La Porte, TEXASS :) Posts: 1,963	This Is Why I Live In The South!!/TOO FUNNY!/ THIS IS TOO DAMN FUNNY NOT TO SHARE W/ YA'LL YANKEES UP YONDER THERE!!!!! Got this email the other day...... LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! TNT December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8"last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all. December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my * on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the *** is lying. December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a * who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow. December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes. December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE * is driving me crazy!!! December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his . The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted. December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed? __________________ R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!!* O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH! Last edited by Topless In Texas; 12-10-2002 at 03:43 AM..

12-10-2002, 12:43 PM	#4
jj_jonathon Trisket Join Date: May 2002 Location: University of Florida, FL Posts: ½ Posts: 1,560	still no snow here in florida....nope...we get two days of rain...strong thunderstorms and tornado watches...Oooo!...lol....i couldnt see 100ft infront of me driving back up here yesterday on the highway....the trucks brake lights were only visible up close....horribly scary....shudder....longest its ever taken me to do that drive... __________________ University of Florida - Physics Major My 02GT vert Media Center Pics BBK Underdrive Pulleys \| K&N FIPK (Gen II) \| Bullet Grille \| Mach 1 Chin Spoiler \| UPR Interior Parts \| XM Radio \| Audiobahn Subs Ricer Hater's Club Member #1/2 (30) http://www.ricehatersclub.com/

12-10-2002, 12:45 PM	#5
bigred90gt 2 Stangs in the Stable Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Baytown, TX Posts: 1,209	That is the funniest ***** I've seen all day. Thanks, I needed that!!!!!! Caymon __________________ '90 GT Under construction Best E.T. = Fast @ High Speeds - OK So I Lie. So What!!! 04 F-150 STX 4.2L 5 spd Rice Haters Club Member #128

12-10-2002, 02:36 PM	#6
lx mike Undescribable Join Date: Sep 1998 Location: Ft Myers Fla Posts: 1,539	Snow?? heheheh __________________ Rice Haters Club Member #101

12-10-2002, 07:16 PM	#7
JaxTheDJ Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Jacksonville,Fla. Posts: 134	That must be the stuff they are always talking about on the weather channel,been meaning to see some of it one day *Snikker::::::::::fleeeeeeeeee __________________ Jack 1989 Mustang LX: Converted to Carb.650 AED Holley DP,Weiand Stealth Intake,Edelbrock Performer RPM Aluminum Heads,Hooker Super Comps, Ground Pounder Uppers and Lowers,Moroso Drag Springs,NEW COMP Xtreme Energy Cam and 1.6 RR. ,a few other goodies.*** New 1/4 times-12.50 1987 SC GT ( fast as hell) 2001 Powerstroke Tow Vehicle 1989 Coupe. Sometimes when you cry,no one sees your tears.......... Sometimes when you are happy,no one sees your smile......... But,FART just ONE time..........

12-10-2002, 04:20 AM	#2
Mustanguy Guest Posts: n/a	LMAO Alot of this sounds like our winter weather here in South Dakota

12-10-2002, 07:27 AM	#3
MustangKelly96 Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Great State of Indiana Posts: 353	LMAO! Not quite that extreme here in IN, but by the time Spring decides to make an apperance I am always more than ready for warm weather and no f***ing SNOW!!! Thanks for the laugh Christine Kelly

12-10-2002, 07:23 PM	#8
MTU 50 GOT TORQUE ???? Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: New Hudson, Michigan, USA Posts: 689	That's still a classic story. The first time I heard it was about 8 years ago and it still gives me a chuckle. We've had 41 inches so far this year. __________________ 1991 GT, AOD, Moroso Cold Air, 3.73s, Pulleys, H-pipe, MAC Pro-Dumps, FMS c-springs, and KYBs, A/c delete, 190 LPH fuel pump, 3-row radiator, Maximum Motorsports full length subframes 2002 Oldsmobile Bravada(wife's car) 2005 Ford Taurus SEL (company ride) GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS !!!!

12-11-2002, 02:02 AM	#9
Crazy Horse GT Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Sale Creek, TN. C. S. A. Posts: 4,652	lmao, except for the ocassional 2 foot snow we get about every ten years , we dont get a lot, THAT'S WHY I LIVE IN THE SOUTH, lol. __________________ 95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow. 04 sonic blue v - six my beater 89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride 84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc 65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020. black 00gt, gone but never forgotten. R H C- member # 1 o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask. goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03

12-11-2002, 03:52 PM	#10
MissBlondie Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 335	That's great! Not quite that bad here in Chicago. It's funny how at the beginning of the season everyone is in the spirit and doesn't mind it so much, but after scrappin the ice off your vehicle after work for the 6th week in a row, it becomes not so pretty and fun anymore.... Plus the snow gets brown on the roads woohoo it's a high of 44 today right now! __________________ 2003 TrueBlue GT with a few fun things...

12-11-2002, 05:54 PM	#11
Stang_Crazy It's never clean enough! Join Date: Jan 1999 Location: Shaler, PA Posts: 1,542	Pittsburgh winters haven't been very bad the last few years...Did I just jinx it this year by saying that?? I still remember back in 94 or 95 when we got 20+ inches of snow in 20 hours. I hope that doesn't happen again... __________________ ~Dan 2001 SVT Lightning 89' GT : Taking up garage space and waiting for a buyer... Rice Hater's Club - Member #11

12-11-2002, 06:13 PM	#12
mustanggt_50 Registered Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ontario Canada Posts: 91	LMFAO, thats funny. hehe, but i know what its like to shovel snow, pain in the *** __________________ 87 GT T-roof (needs paint) lol, rebuilt motor and trans, AOD - stage 2 shift kit, 3.73 gears - auburn posi, Dynomax Super Turbo Cat Back, FRPP 155lph fuel pump, K&N filter - air silencer removed, subframe connectors, strut tower brace. 88 GT T-roof 1989 LX Coupe 5.0 - 5spd Rice Haters Club member#105

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