You know your from Houston if........(TNT))

srv1 · 07-06-2002, 11:41 PM

The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.
You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
Everybody has a story of a roach the size of the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes; you know that he just stepped in a fire-ant bed.
You're on your way to work one February morning and find yourself suddenly btrapped in a traffic jam caused by a chuck wagon and fifty horses - with riders - and you look around to see that everybody in the trucks around you is wearing a cowboy hat.
The name "Bud Adams" makes people snarl, and "Bum Phillips" doesn't mean bad screwdriver.
"Luv ya Blue" still makes you smile, even if you did run the Oilers out of town.
You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World, and NOT the Reliantdome.
You come to work in short sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue norther" has blown through and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees.
Your neighbor's Christmas yard decorations are a re-creation of the gunfight at the OK Corral, complete with a ten-foot tree decorated with boots and cowboy hats, and a Santa Claus who looks a lot like Wyatt Earp.
You wander into a section of town where you can't read the street signs because they're written in Asian characters instead of English, but you don't care because that's where you get great prices on fake designer merchandise.
You go to an art festival and you're almost run down by hand holding cross-dressers on roller blades.
You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window shop. (You can't afford to buy because the prices are jacked up for all the foreign tourists.)
You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.
You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.
For a Chili Cook off, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with NO beans or NO tomatoes.
Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year.
Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south.
You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven't left your NEIGHBORHOOD.)
You've never seen I-45 and I-10 in any condition other than under construction - and you've lived here for more than 30 years.
You know that "Clutch City" has nothing to do with automobile transmissions.
"The Dream" is not a fantasy.
The only REAL Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low right overhead, and the city went out to watch.
You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more money than the U.S. treasury.
You're happy to have beaten Los Angeles out of a football team, but you'd rather they keep the title of "Smog Capital."
You see nothing unusual about an eighty-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white pompadour toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, iiiii-witness news" into a television camera every night. But some folks are still upset with him for shutting down the Chicken Ranch.

1969Mach1 · 07-06-2002, 11:54 PM

hahaha.... lol TNT ain't going to like that. hehehe... j/k she's got a good sense of humour. But be prepared I'm sure she'll come back with something.

Take it easy,
Sam.

Topless In Texas · 07-07-2002, 01:16 AM

SRV..HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF???????? THAT IS WAAAAY TOOOO FUNNNY!!!!! Now..I will comment! (Dammit, I just accidently put my cigarette in some candle wax!) uggg!...
Also, if its cold in January, I crank up the car heater when the top is down! AND RUN IT ALL SUMMER!!!!!

FORTUNATELY....I dont have cockroaches, BUT, I have seen some that look like small rodents in my dayz!

I spent part of my day today, while working in my yard, used a WHOLE can of "Fire Ant Killer" and have the chew marks on my feet to prove it! (Also a whole bottle of Weed Killer!)

THAT could ONLY be the Houston LiveStock Show Trail Riders that kicks off the Rodeo! I was a member of the HLS&R for 7 years and was an ***. Captn. for my Souvineer Program Comittee Team! I acutally got to RIDE in the GRAND ENTRY for one performance on the floor of the dome!!! Had a great year that year, I won 3 pairs of boots, a TV and a Blue Fox Coat! (WHen the HELL will I wear that????)

Bud Adams is an a$s!!!! The last 3 games of the Oilers before they left, I went sporting a brown grocery bag over my head w/ the eyes cut out! There were guys on the corner of the dome selling "Bud Slamming" bumper stickers for a dollar! I bought 5!!!
Bum Phillips was COOOL!!!!! Those were the days!!! My dad wsa friends w/ him....LUV YA BLUE was awesome! I started my addiction to that in the '70's COMPLETE w/ the big hat w/ the big feather band and my DAN PASTORINI jersey...(he was a BABE!)

Shortly after that came the "URBAN COWBOY" craze...Gilleys was the place to be!!!!! I used to love that place!

Yes, the Astrodome will ALWAYS be the 8th wonder of the world...It was built the year I was born, unfortunately and sadly, its set for demolition!!!!!!! Ive had a BUNCH of fun times there..I saw the Stones there, and did many a rodeo!

I LOVE when those 'blue northerns' blow in! It doesnot happen very often!

HEEHEHEH...my 'yard art' for Christmas is things that I MADE Myself! (woodwork) which consists of Santa in my car w/ Presents flying our, A SANTA w/ Hakeems jersey on and a Snowman w/ Clyde the Glides jersey on. All about 4 feet tall!

You MUST be talking about Harwin Street! I have not been there yet. But I know where it is....close to when I do lunch across town!

NEVER been to the Westiermer Arts Festival.... a little too wierd for me! (Unless Kid Rock would be entertaining there sometime!

)

Ya, the Galleria is for people who feel like they have to spend WAAAY too much money for things they can get cheaper closer to home! ALthough, they have some great resturants, and I've iceskated there before!

I discovered something about 'ya'll' last weekend! THE CANADIANS SAY IT TO!!!!!!! EH? I thought that was wayyyy cool!
There were a sloo of them in Maryland for the nats....

The HLS&R BBQ cook off is the biggest and best in the world! It kicks off the rodeo! Just a good excuse to eat, spend money, and Drink to access...I also used to be part of a cook off team back in those days....that was a kick! Chili is okay!

Been thru Spring, Cyberstang lives in Katy, and 1960 is just WAY TOO FAR AWAY!

Last weekend I drove thru 3 states in 40 minutes...it takes 15 hours to drive from where I live to the New Mexico Border. The last couple of hours suck. Nothing but rocks and tumbleweed!

I've lived here ALL MY LIFE, and I live right off of I-45...ITS ALWAYS A MESS!!!!!!!!!

YES, I have all my Front Page Newspaperclippings FRAMED from "CLUTCH CITY" ! I'm also a sports nut! Rockets kicked arse back then. I miss that! Also an autographed FOOTBALL from Clyde and Hakeem...

The Dream was awesome...I just wish he'd retired in his prime!

IS THERE MEXICAN BESIDES TEX-MEX???? One thing I learned....in California they dont even know what Chili Con Queso is!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!!!!!!

I live about 10 minutes from Nasa......

I have put some of my hard earned money into Matress Mac's pocket! That place is a zoo, not a furniture store!!!!!

and then there is Marvin....Hes a cool old guy....I havent seen the news in prolly 2 years....Is he still there? I remember when he shut down the chicken ranch! and his MANY spottings of 'slime in the icemachine!".... and as he says....
"Everyone have a good weekend, good golf, good tennis, or WHATEVER makes you HAPPY!!!! TNT

BTW: HOW DID YOU FIND ALL THIS STUFF?????? I Just took a trip down memory lane! THANKS!

Damn, I'm out of breath, I need a drink!

FivepointOH · 07-07-2002, 11:11 AM

So true so true...

Rev · 07-07-2002, 01:36 PM

srv1, all of these things are absolutely and 100% true. You or someone must have spent some time here to learn all that stuff. As a native Houstonian, I can vouch for each of those characterizations.

Rev

Topless In Texas · 07-09-2002, 05:43 AM

HEY, SRV....YOU NEVER DID ANSWER TH E QUESTION...how did you know all about all this stuff and have the facts down soo goooood
??????????????????????????RUEHOUSTONIAN!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHH

NiagaraGlenn · 07-09-2002, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Topless In Texas
I discovered something about 'ya'll' last weekend! THE CANADIANS SAY IT TO!!!!!!! EH? I thought that was wayyyy cool!
There were a sloo of them in Maryland for the nats....

We don't normally say it, but when in Rome...

( Actually I think that there is a fair possibility that in our high state of intoxication we were F'in with Y'all ) Eh!!!

PKRWUD · 07-09-2002, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NiagaraGlenn

We don't normally say it, but when in Rome...

**** (screw) a Roman.

Take care,
-Chris

cyberstang5.0 · 07-10-2002, 07:52 AM

LMAO, that is 100% true

mustang2002 · 07-10-2002, 11:12 AM

LMAO how did u know that that was ******* hilarious

AdamM · 07-14-2002, 12:20 PM

You nailed those on the head. My grandparents live in Kingwood, and I have spent many a night partying downtown with friends from the Woodlands. As far as I'm concerned, it would be the perfect place to live, if I didn't have to worry about my car overheating in traffic, b/c you can pretty much bet that anywhere you go, you are gonna have to sit for just a little while.

07-06-2002, 11:41 PM	#1
srv1 Get down..... Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Room 103 Posts: 2,095	You know your from Houston if........(TNT)) The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes. You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees. Everybody has a story of a roach the size of the Taco Bell Chihuahua. When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes; you know that he just stepped in a fire-ant bed. You're on your way to work one February morning and find yourself suddenly btrapped in a traffic jam caused by a chuck wagon and fifty horses - with riders - and you look around to see that everybody in the trucks around you is wearing a cowboy hat. The name "Bud Adams" makes people snarl, and "Bum Phillips" doesn't mean bad screwdriver. "Luv ya Blue" still makes you smile, even if you did run the Oilers out of town. You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World, and NOT the Reliantdome. You come to work in short sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue norther" has blown through and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees. Your neighbor's Christmas yard decorations are a re-creation of the gunfight at the OK Corral, complete with a ten-foot tree decorated with boots and cowboy hats, and a Santa Claus who looks a lot like Wyatt Earp. You wander into a section of town where you can't read the street signs because they're written in Asian characters instead of English, but you don't care because that's where you get great prices on fake designer merchandise. You go to an art festival and you're almost run down by hand holding cross-dressers on roller blades. You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window shop. (You can't afford to buy because the prices are jacked up for all the foreign tourists.) You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene. You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person. For a Chili Cook off, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with NO beans or NO tomatoes. Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year. Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south. You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven't left your NEIGHBORHOOD.) You've never seen I-45 and I-10 in any condition other than under construction - and you've lived here for more than 30 years. You know that "Clutch City" has nothing to do with automobile transmissions. "The Dream" is not a fantasy. The only REAL Mexican food is Tex-Mex. A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low right overhead, and the city went out to watch. You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more money than the U.S. treasury. You're happy to have beaten Los Angeles out of a football team, but you'd rather they keep the title of "Smog Capital." You see nothing unusual about an eighty-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white pompadour toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, iiiii-witness news" into a television camera every night. But some folks are still upset with him for shutting down the Chicken Ranch. __________________ Cobra brakes are on! Finally..... ------------------------------------------------

07-06-2002, 11:54 PM	#2
1969Mach1 HEY I CAN SET A NAME NOW! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,556	hahaha.... lol TNT ain't going to like that. hehehe... j/k she's got a good sense of humour. But be prepared I'm sure she'll come back with something. Take it easy, Sam. __________________ 1969 Mustang Mach 1Sold 351-4V Windsor, 4 Speed MACH 1 - Moving At The Speed Of Sound. 1979 Mustang Indianapolis 500 Pace Car For Sale - Email me for Info 302-2V, 3-Speed Auto One of 2,106 made One of 405 sent to Canada. Yes those are caution lights, and No you can't pass me when there on. Ricer Hater's Club - Member #4

07-07-2002, 01:16 AM	#3
Topless In Texas Not broken anymore! Join Date: May 2001 Location: La Porte, TEXASS :) Posts: 1,963	OMG!!!! THAT WAS GREAT!!!!! :):):) SRV..HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF???????? THAT IS WAAAAY TOOOO FUNNNY!!!!! Now..I will comment! (Dammit, I just accidently put my cigarette in some candle wax!) uggg!... Also, if its cold in January, I crank up the car heater when the top is down! AND RUN IT ALL SUMMER!!!!! FORTUNATELY....I dont have cockroaches, BUT, I have seen some that look like small rodents in my dayz! I spent part of my day today, while working in my yard, used a WHOLE can of "Fire Ant Killer" and have the chew marks on my feet to prove it! (Also a whole bottle of Weed Killer!) THAT could ONLY be the Houston LiveStock Show Trail Riders that kicks off the Rodeo! I was a member of the HLS&R for 7 years and was an **. Captn. for my Souvineer Program Comittee Team! I acutally got to RIDE in the GRAND ENTRY for one performance on the floor of the dome!!! Had a great year that year, I won 3 pairs of boots, a TV and a Blue Fox Coat! (WHen the HELL will I wear that????) Bud Adams is an a$s!!!! The last 3 games of the Oilers before they left, I went sporting a brown grocery bag over my head w/ the eyes cut out! There were guys on the corner of the dome selling "Bud Slamming" bumper stickers for a dollar! I bought 5!!! Bum Phillips was COOOL!!!!! Those were the days!!! My dad wsa friends w/ him....LUV YA BLUE was awesome! I started my addiction to that in the '70's COMPLETE w/ the big hat w/ the big feather band and my DAN PASTORINI jersey...(he was a BABE!) Shortly after that came the "URBAN COWBOY" craze...Gilleys was the place to be!!!!! I used to love that place! Yes, the Astrodome will ALWAYS be the 8th wonder of the world...It was built the year I was born, unfortunately and sadly, its set for demolition!!!!!!! Ive had a BUNCH of fun times there..I saw the Stones there, and did many a rodeo! I LOVE when those 'blue northerns' blow in! It doesnot happen very often! HEEHEHEH...my 'yard art' for Christmas is things that I MADE Myself! (woodwork) which consists of Santa in my car w/ Presents flying our, A SANTA w/ Hakeems jersey on and a Snowman w/ Clyde the Glides jersey on. All about 4 feet tall! You MUST be talking about Harwin Street! I have not been there yet. But I know where it is....close to when I do lunch across town! NEVER been to the Westiermer Arts Festival.... a little too wierd for me! (Unless Kid Rock would be entertaining there sometime! ) Ya, the Galleria is for people who feel like they have to spend WAAAY too much money for things they can get cheaper closer to home! ALthough, they have some great resturants, and I've iceskated there before! I discovered something about 'ya'll' last weekend! THE CANADIANS SAY IT TO!!!!!!! EH? I thought that was wayyyy cool! There were a sloo of them in Maryland for the nats.... The HLS&R BBQ cook off is the biggest and best in the world! It kicks off the rodeo! Just a good excuse to eat, spend money, and Drink to access...I also used to be part of a cook off team back in those days....that was a kick! Chili is okay! Been thru Spring, Cyberstang lives in Katy, and 1960 is just WAY TOO FAR AWAY! Last weekend I drove thru 3 states in 40 minutes...it takes 15 hours to drive from where I live to the New Mexico Border. The last couple of hours suck. Nothing but rocks and tumbleweed! I've lived here ALL MY LIFE, and I live right off of I-45...ITS ALWAYS A MESS!!!!!!!!! YES, I have all my Front Page Newspaperclippings FRAMED from "CLUTCH CITY" ! I'm also a sports nut! Rockets kicked arse back then. I miss that! Also an autographed FOOTBALL from Clyde and Hakeem... The Dream was awesome...I just wish he'd retired in his prime! IS THERE MEXICAN BESIDES TEX-MEX???? One thing I learned....in California they dont even know what Chili Con Queso is!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!!!!!! I live about 10 minutes from Nasa...... I have put some of my hard earned money into Matress Mac's pocket! That place is a zoo, not a furniture store!!!!! and then there is Marvin....Hes a cool old guy....I havent seen the news in prolly 2 years....Is he still there? I remember when he shut down the chicken ranch! and his MANY spottings of 'slime in the icemachine!".... and as he says.... "Everyone have a good weekend, good golf, good tennis, or WHATEVER makes you HAPPY!!!! TNT BTW: HOW DID YOU FIND ALL THIS STUFF?????? I Just took a trip down memory lane! THANKS! Damn, I'm out of breath, I need a drink! __________________ R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!!* O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH!

07-07-2002, 01:36 PM	#5
Rev Registered Member Join Date: Nov 1998 Location: Houston, Tx. Posts: 3,887	srv1, all of these things are absolutely and 100% true. You or someone must have spent some time here to learn all that stuff. As a native Houstonian, I can vouch for each of those characterizations. Rev __________________ '66 Coupe, 306, 350-375 HP, C-4, 13.07 e.t., 104.8 mph, 1/4 mi. O.B.C. #2 '66 coupe

07-09-2002, 05:43 AM	#6
Topless In Texas Not broken anymore! Join Date: May 2001 Location: La Porte, TEXASS :) Posts: 1,963	HOW DID YOU DO IT??????????? HEY, SRV....YOU NEVER DID ANSWER TH E QUESTION...how did you know all about all this stuff and have the facts down soo goooood ??????????????????????????RUEHOUSTONIAN!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHH __________________ R.I.P. my Kinde..Jan. 19,1992-Aug. 22, 2003. Shes Cruisin' doggie heaven in a Blown Verte or a GTO!!! 2005 ROUSH GT Verte SuperStallions of the Net Feature, May 2002 RICE HATERS CLUB MEMBER #38!! O.B.C #5..thank you!! I feel so priveledged!! BONE STOCK~ Hell, its a ROUSH!

07-07-2002, 11:11 AM	#4
FivepointOH Registered Member Join Date: Jan 1999 Location: Sugar Land, Tx USA Posts: 478	So true so true...

07-10-2002, 07:52 AM	#9
cyberstang5.0 347ci of HORSE POWER!!! Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,416	LMAO, that is 100% true

07-10-2002, 11:12 AM	#10
mustang2002 Registered Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Pearson Posts: 51	LMAO LMAO how did u know that that was ******* hilarious __________________ C~ya-Jeremy Redneck Talk. Can ya read it? MR Pigs. MR Not Pigs. OSAR Pigs. LIB MR Pigs.

07-14-2002, 12:20 PM	#11
AdamM Registered Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Bridge City, TX Posts: 14	You nailed those on the head. My grandparents live in Kingwood, and I have spent many a night partying downtown with friends from the Woodlands. As far as I'm concerned, it would be the perfect place to live, if I didn't have to worry about my car overheating in traffic, b/c you can pretty much bet that anywhere you go, you are gonna have to sit for just a little while. __________________ 93 Stang GT When the greenlight pops...

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Got a call from HOUSTON CHRONICLE!	Topless In Texas	Blue Oval Lounge	1	04-26-2004 08:15 AM
Dumbshit VIPER driver on HOUSTON FREEWAYS	Topless In Texas	Blue Oval Lounge	10	02-07-2004 03:15 PM
CAR SHOW ...HOUSTON this Sunday!!	Topless In Texas	Ford Show & Go	0	05-19-2001 10:44 PM
any houston street racer here?	TheSloAod	Stang Stories	6	05-14-2001 01:07 AM
Houston TX area "Road Rally"	Saleen308	Ford Show & Go	0	02-12-2001 07:36 PM