Well, it turns out the shop rag isn't magical after all.
I set everything up to duplicate the conditions of the driver's side, did my best to pound that thing into oblivion, but it didn't work.
My pickle fork kit worked, though. I ended up trying to use the small fork end thingy, which I wasn't able to get around the bolt before. I was able to get it to fit by ripping the rubber boot off like I did to the other side, and hammering it on. It didn't want to fit at first, and it didn't want to come off after I was able to spread the joint apart with it, but it worked.
The good news is that everything is just about ready to be installed when I get around to it again this weekend.