My life is over.

[89 Cobra LX]

I bought my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years an engagement ring last night. I don't know that I'm all that ready to get married, but as the saying goes.... "either sh!t or get off the toilet"

It's a good thing that I got that new motor over the summer, because I have a feeling those types of things are coming to an end. She understands how important the stang is to me, but she doesn't understand how I can spend so much time and money on it. Which is weird because I thought she liked me for my car when we first met.

I'll be proposing sometime next week. Anyone have any good ideas on how to do it?

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

[joe4speed]

Chin up! Consider yourself lucky! This is what you want, right?? Some people go through their whole lives not loving anyone! Imagine that!!! I wouldn't worry about the Stang if I were you, just go with it, and it will all fall into place!! Keep us updated, and GOOD LUCK!

[95mustanggt]

Don't worry man. Marriage does have some draw backs, but it also has a lot of benefits. Just remember that. Just makes sure that your girl knows how much your car means to you. If she knows, then you'll be alright.

My wife knows how much my car means to me. I can't mod it because I have no cash, but the important thing is that as soon as a get some, she won't mind if I spend some on the car.

Anyway, congrats on the big decision. I'm not any good on advise on how to propse. I proposed after getting a speeding ticket at 2:00 am in a park with 1 million mosquitos! Sometimes I think she said yes just so we could get inside and away from them bugs .

[DRASTiK]

I'm by far not the know-it-all, but I'll give you the advise that I live by. If there's any doubt, don't do it. If you're positive, then wait two weeks and if you still are positive about it, then go for it. After 4.5 years, two weeks won't hurt anything. If she loves you, and she understands your feelings towards your car, then I'm sure she'll support that. December 9th was my 1 year wedding anniversary. I don't regret it at all. Good luck man.

[89 Cobra LX]

I'm sure I won't have any regrets. I was actually going to pull the trigger a few months back, but I decided to buy a house.

I will miss bachelorhood. That's what I'm really struggling with. On Saturdays in the fall, I like to get up around noon, turn on some football and open a Budweiser. I know she won't let that continue.

I turned 25 two days ago and I have decided that growing up isn't too fun.

[Mustangbelle306]

Wow dude you should sooooo not be getting married. Your attitude about it stinks, and quite frankly makes my mind wander to our nation's divorce rate.

If you have any doubts, or misgivings about the individual that you are marrying, you need to check yourself, and FAST. I met the man that I am going to marry a while ago, and I haven't questioned it since. We ride together, play with mustangs together, sleep late and mooch around and watch cartoons together.

When the time comes to make that decision, there is NO way I would say yes to something that changes both of our lives forever just because I feel like I have to crap or get off the john...just seeing that saying pertaining to marriage breaks my heart.

Pull the trigger? I hope you dont talk like that in front of her. That's totally disrespectful, and I would hope THAT is the type of crap she wouldn't let go on, not your football watching. There is nothing wrong with personal time on the weekends. If she wants to end this, there is something wrong here. I don't know whether to rant on about your bad attitude or the fact that she wouldn't want you to keep doing what you loved...yark too much biatching in general...

I just think that marriage with the right person is the beginning of a great new life...doing all the things you LOVE, but with someone you want by your side all the time, not a death sentence. I think you're going to end up being a very unhappy man

[929PhoenixSquid]

Guys like you make me sick. If for no other reason then the fact that you have no backbone or integrity. If you don't want marriage, that is your opinion and it's fine. However, to compromise your convictions and then ***** and moan about it is truly sad.

Marriage should be something you wake up every morning and feel wonderful about. If this is NOT the case, you are either unhappy with your girl or unhappy with yourself. Be honest with her and you'll be better off.


It sounds to me like you are heading straight down the road to a bloody divorce

[1969Mach1]

Congrats. man, don't worry aslong as you love her and you feel things in the marriage will work out you will be totally fine. She'll be fine with the car. I'm 17 the advice my dad gave me was if you want a nice car, buy it before you get it married a month later I bought my stand. I have no plans on getting married for a long while.

Best wishs for the future.

[Unit 5302]

Perhaps I'm just abnormal, but I don't see marriage as anything that somehow gives a person the right to alter the other person into some mold.

If she's hangin around to get married so she can mold you into somebody else, why are you considering marriage? You're supposed to be with a person who loves you for who you are, not for who they can make you into.

The whole "My life is over" line is sickening. Why the hell would you trade who you are as a person just because you feel you owe it to her? That's the most disrespectful thing she could ever hear from you. So you're not proposing because you love her, but rather out of a feeling of debt to her hangin around. Yeah, that's why I'd want to get married.

[Fox Body]

Originally posted by 929PhoenixSquid
Guys like you make me sick. If for no other reason then the fact that you have no backbone or integrity. If you don't want marriage, that is your opinion and it's fine. However, to compromise your convictions and then ***** and moan about it is truly sad....

It sounds to me like you are heading straight down the road to a bloody divorce

Whoa, you guys really need to ease up a bit.

Hey, let's string him up by his toes and beat him across the face with a driveshaft...

89 Cobra LX, pretty sure you're exaggerating a bit just to bring your point of nervousness and uncertainty across more (I hope). But (for some weird reason) if you are being totally honest and not exaggerating (which I doubt), then you may need to go into some pre-marriage counseling.

Oh yeah, mustangbelle, I have to commend you for that little speech there. Well said (seriously).

Brother, I've been in an 'off and on' relationship for over 7 1/2 years. Crap or get off the pot?? I don't think so! I have given this girl 2 rings and the first was over $3500 and she said she thought I gave it to her just so I wouldn't lose her(2 1/2 yrs ago) so I took the ring back and started shopping a stroker(HEEH). Last summer I bought her a solitaire and she made me wait(I found out she knew I was going to pop the question again) over 3 hrs(she said she would be right over) while she was drinking some beers with her friend after work. Know what she said when she got it?? "How much did you pay for this?" I told her.. "I think you can do better than this for that kinda money". Another ring got returned.. She analyzed that f'n ring under a light from ALL angles. She wants to get married and I told her if I EVER ask her AGAIN it will be with a $35 band! Every time we went looking at big 4 bedroom houses and I thought this was the right time, she would say something that just made me think.. I really don't know about this..

I'm 33 and still waiting for the right girl, I'm not getting married because I feel I have to.. It has to be the right girl. A girl who wants to go to the mustang events with me, drink with me, put up with me, has the same 'drive' as me, one who will get up when I wake in 4 in the morning and decide its time to go out for breakfast.. All I'm saying is... You get what you settle for...

PS I agree with Foxbody, you guys are being way over sensitive to what 89 Cobra Lx posted. I don't think I've met a guy yet that doesn't kid about getting tied down. There are people I meet daily that have been married over 30-40(maybe more)yrs that still make comments like that and thier women think its funny.

PSS Mustangbelle306, I really like the way you look at life. I agree 100%! Do you have a sister??

Oh there was something else I forgot to say, I can't tell you how many times I've thought to myself "Damn I'm glad I didn't marry her!". Dude, I've worked way too hard to just give half of it away.. blood.. sweat.. tears.

If you have doubts... (think about it)

[Mr 5 0]

89 LX:

Don't mean to pile on here but I have to agree with the folks who see your negative comments regarding your intended marriage as indicating that you're conflicted, at best, about making this huge step. Relating marriage to 'pulling the trigger' (death?) and other less delicate metaphores makes one question your real feelings about asking a women to marry you.
The comment I edited out (regarding responsibility) was especially telling.

Fears of losing your familiar and comfortable way of life are normal but this negative tone - as in your topic title - My Life is Over says volumes about your real aversion to committment right now. That isn't a good sign.

I'm just another guy on a messageboard and have no more insight than anyone else, but if we were personal friends, I would be putting my hand on your shoulder and telling you: "Bud; Don't do this - to her or to yourself. You're just not ready".

Marriage is total committment; not just 'I love you' all the time. Love is crucial, of course, but it won't solve all the petty problems that living with another person 24/7 brings. If you can't both be willing to sacrifice some things, sometimes, in order to please the other person - the one you love - then it won't work. The feelings of abject failure following a divorce are something you don't want to experience I'm sure, so tread carefully and analyze your real motives for wanting to marry.

I'm married to a sweet, gentle, smart and loving woman who understands me and loves me enough to let me be myself. I appreciate her for that and do all I can to make her happy in big and small ways and let her be herself, too. We compliment each other as well as love each other. It's a beautiful thing...when it works that way.

She insisted on driving the 'Stang off the dealers lot and home when I bought it new. She drives a five-speed as well as any guy, but she doesn't race. I bought her a new Mazda 626 a few years back; just the way she wanted it. Now we both have the cars we want. Compromise and understanding. All essential for a lasting relationship.

Think about it, at least, before you make the move...and possibly regret it.

[TXinPA]

if you have any doubts about getting married at all, don't do it. divorce is a terrable thing to go through. if she wants you to be something you are not, then it might be better to wait a while, and see if you need to move on. keep in mind what the marrage vows are, in fact, think them over really well.

if you do marry her, give me her address so i can send her a sympathy card. hehe

[1969Mach1]

All very true, makes me see my relationship in a new perspective. If I could stop my relationship right now and decide if I would marry my g/f I wouldn't. I love her tons but I couldn't go the rest of my life dealing with alot of the crap we go threw. I want it to be perfect when we get married, I want it to be to the perfect girl for me. I want nothing to be able to stop us.

[89 Cobra LX]

Wow, talk about some opinions. Thanks for the insight, but I'm certainly not going to take anyone's advice on not marrying her. Who in their right mind would spend 5gs on a diamond and not be sure if they want to marry this person (however, I'm sure it must happen quite a bit since the divorce rate is so high). I was just trying to make light of the nervousness that I have on finally moving forward with this (it is a big decision that appearantly some have not had to seriously ponder).

For those that have congratulated me...... Thank-you.
I feel extremely lucky that I've been able to spend the last 4 1/2 years of my life with Jolene. That's why I'd like to spend the rest of my life with her. I also feel lucky that I'm not some pud-spank that has to meet women over the computer, or stand on some soap-box in a chat-forum and point out what's wrong with people. Some of you make ME sick.

Now back to my original question. If anyone has any ideas on how I could propose I would be interested in hearing what you have to say. I want it to be very special for her (obviously). I have a few ideas of my own, but I'd like to hear some others. And for those of you who would like to continue to flame on me... whatever... it won't bother me..... just read the subject line of this post.

I've made my decision and I'm happy with it.

[89 Cobra LX]

I wish I could show her this thread so she could laugh her @ss off at some of you! But that would ruin my little surprise.

[Coupe Devil]

Dude the classic proposal is the best. They dont call it a classic for nothing. Take her out to a very expensive restaurant. Spare no expense. Go dancing if your into that, and I dont mean to the local bar tha just happens to have kareoke on friday night. I mean something real nice. Take her home, as she is getting her house key out of her purse and unlocking the door, comense to take a knee. When she turns around teo say godd bye. She wil know exactly what is happening and will be overcome with emotion. Hopefully joy. Shoot the question and pray she says yes.

DO NOT DO THIS IN PUBLIC.

[89 Cobra LX]

Originally posted by pony_power_90
DO NOT DO THIS IN PUBLIC. I dont wish that she says no but if she does public isnt the place for it.

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH -- I was thinking of the ring in the wine glass routine at some fancy resturaunt. Maybe that isn't such a good idea now. I forgot that she could say no!

[Mr 5 0]

89 Cobra LX:

You wrote:

I've made my decision and I'm happy with it.

We all wish you well then but your thread title states
'My Life is Over' and your first post goes on about your fears and misgivings toward marriage.

What did you expect?

If it was just a joke, it wasn't very obvious.

No one wants to see another guy marry and do so for the wrong reasons (age, guilt, sense of responsibility), thus making two people unhappy.

I guess, next time, if you're just venting your fears, you need to say so and avoid phrases such as 'My Life is Over' or else just add the symbol j/k to the title or the post so folks understand that what you post is not to be taken literally.

That said; I wish you good luck with the proposal.
Make it in a private place...it's not fair to burden her with a public setting...and be straightforward. Don't do a long lead-in.

Start with a compliment; "You complete me" from the Jerry McGuire movie was great but already taken.
Tell her you love her...look her in the eyes as you say it...and then bring out the ring and ask her to marry you...if she will. Give her that 'out' ("If you will"). She'll shriek, probably cry and she may even say "I need to think about it". Don't panic if she does and don't get all pouty, just say, "Sure, take as long as you want". Doubtful that will happen after a 4 1/2 year 'courtship', but you never know. Did I mention to tell her you love her?

Good Luck and sorry about the negative posts, including mine.