Hello everybody. I've been working on a Sci-Fi story for some time now. I've rewritten and refined it more than I care to say.
I think I've finally come up with a grabbing intro of one of the main charectors, well actually two of them. I need you all's opinion. I have notes and charector resumes and several chapters completed. Well read the below and let me know guys.
Electric blue numbers stood out against the black display. Eleven Thirty. The air hung humid and oppressive. Every so often a welcomed breeze would roll in through the windows. The cloudless sky presented the full moon flawlessly. Gone was the typical blue shade, tonight it hung low in the sky donning an ominous crimson hue.
Despite the events of the day, and approval of his design, Alex’s mood was somber. Lost in memories and thoughts of his childhood. And the reality of the broken relationship finally began to set in. They had been together for three and a half years. At first the bond that held them together seemed stronger than god himself, but slowly that bond weakened and began to crumble. Fights became more frequent and grew in intensity. He had tried and fought so hard to hold things together, keep a grasp on the love that he treasured so much, but as time wore on, the energy and desire began to dwindle.
The mechanical chatter of another gas burner snapped him back from thoughts deep and dreary. Glancing a peek out the passenger side window revealed a sleek machine; her raven black paint glistened in the light. Reflections danced off the gentle sloping lines and hard creased edges that gave a definite muscular appearance.
It was a rare occurrence anymore to see a car that has an internal combustion engine. As the machine creped forward the engine idled, thrumming out hearty exhaust notes that Alex could feel reverberate in his chest. In tune with the engine, the car rocked from side to side. After several moments studying the lines of the car, and placing it from the late twentieth century, he became curious as to who would drive such an antiquated beast of a machine around town. He squinted to get a glimpse of who may be driving, but his view was blocked by window tint and lack of light.
Slowly the needle on the engine coolant gauge crept to the 220-degree mark. This has got to be the world’s longest light, Alex thought. The needle just about passed the 220-degree mark when the cooling fan kicked on, the engine bogged for a moment as the load on the alternator increased, the computer saw the bog and kicked the throttle open to compensate, causing the engine to rev. Alex felt his heart rate increase and beads of sweat beginning to form. The humidity that had hung in the air was replaced by nervous tension.
Okay, this just turned really awkward. Maybe he didn’t hear it.
Eardrums panged when the mill next to him revved and slowly began to creep closer to the line at the light.
Oh Sh!t!
Leaves and dust swirled about on the open pavement as the winds began to pick up. The traffic light now stirred in the gusts. After quickly considering the consequences, Alex tightened his grip on the wheel and pointed the front tires forward. He slid the T-handled shifter into first. Eyes locked onto the swinging light, waiting for the go signal. Just in the boundaries of peripheral vision yellow light peaked through, giving warning that the light was about to turn. The beast beside on the other lane screamed out, keeping the revs high. Adrenalin began to surge through his blood stream.
The second that the green waves of light reflected of the hood, he stabbed the gas and dumped the clutch. The shriek of spinning tires rippled through the air. Alex’s tires hooked up first and he launched forward with explosive acceleration. The injected, variable compression V8 screamed as it shot forward.
Hard, the tires kicked, causing the rear of the car to slide sideways momentarily as Alex stabbed the clutch and slammed into second gear. Bellowing out, the eight cylinders to the right drew closer. The asphalt became a gray blur and road markings nothing more than pulsing lines. Now a deafening roar, the black machine pulled even with him.
I’m running out of wind here. Come on baby!
Light poles shoot by at an increasing rate. Alex shoved the transmission into third. Edging by, the antique’s rear tires broke traction as it dumped into the next gear. Smoke began to stream out from the wheel wells as hot rubber flung to the inner fenders. Eyes wide with terror, Alex quickly let off the gas and shifted into fourth as the other driver fought to keep control.
Unspent gas popped back through the exhaust as cool oxygen rich air was sucked into the side pipes. Slackened on the throttle, the backside straightened out.
Taking an unfair opportunity, Alex jammed the shifter down into second and slammed on the gas. Throttle plates flung wide open sucking in as much air as quickly as they could. Thrust back into his seat, he gained ground rapidly on the black machine.
Solenoids operating the valves worked furiously. The tach needle swept towards the redline.
Her heart raced, the steering wheel jerked about, threatening to rip from the clasp of her white knuckled hands. Two twelve-inch wide ribbons of rubber lay on the pavement behind her, extending out of sight of the rear view mirror.
Insects swarmed to find other sources of light as parking lot lamps flickered off. Most business slowly, one by one shut off their lights. Off in the distance, the glow from the city could still be seen marring the clear night sky. Brighter stars began to emerge out of the darkness, Orion’s belt.
Out of the plumes of tire smoke emerged the red machine, front end poised towards the sky. Light gleamed off the chrome running horse on the grill.
“Son of a-. I’ll be damned if you blow by me a$$hole.” She scowled while catching an eyeful of approaching headlights in her rearview mirror.
Carbon spewed from the exhaust as Felix punched the throttle. Shuddering hesitantly, the engine heaved as it fought to build up speed.
The scent of hot clutch material and hydrocarbons hung heavy in the air. Ribbons of asphalt laid boundaries for the two as they sped towards no particular destination. Buildings and glowing neon signs blurred into abstract shapes as they broke well over the one hundred mile per hour mark.
Wind poured in through the windows, whipping through Alex’s copper hair. Off in the distance, a traffic signal shinned green. The muscles in his leg hesitated as he weighed the cost to his ego if he let off.
The pair shot toward the light at three hundred feet per second, muscles tensing with each moment. In a bat of an eye, the light flashed to yellow. Stomach twisting into knots as he swept his leg over to hit the brakes, the front of the car dove as the weight shifted.
Under a canopy of stars, trees swayed in the cool breeze and crickets fiddled the sound of a sultry summer eve. Undergrowth grew rampant on the backwoods stretch of US-401; the scenery was broken occasionally by a cleared lot of farmland and neglected tobacco barn. Dirt roads snaked through breaks in the forests cover. The surrounding countryside was noticeably cooler, just right for jeans and a t-shirt.
Alex sighed as he turned onto his driveway, one of only a handful of houses within 5 miles to have a paved one. Wood creaked underfoot as he turned to gaze at the star filled night. Jupiter shined prominently, outdoing even Betelgeuse. With reluctance, he opened the front door and walked in. The lights clicked on.
So what did you guys think. The female in the Black car is another one of the more important charectors that will be properly introduced later in the story.
Can you all guess what I had in mind while writing of the black car? Lets see if you all can guess.
[This message has been edited by Mercury (edited 06-19-2001).]
[This message has been edited by Mercury (edited 06-19-2001).]