My Dad's hard head

stanger8172 · 06-27-2001, 04:32 PM

I live at home here with my Mom and Dad so I can go to school full-time and get my Associates in Graphic Arts. After I get my degree I am outta here. I live here for free, help them clean, and don't give them a hard time. My beef is that back in February he came home and told me to pack it up and move out because I would sleep over in my girlfriends dorm half the time. He NEVER expressed how he felt about my absence at home. He also called my girlfriend a **** and a ***** ! I really wanted him to swing on me too ya know! He said all that **** and never heard another thing about it. My Mom said I wasn't kicked out and I am still here today.

Today, I apologized for cussing him out and he accepted it. I had to ask him to apologize for calling my g/f those names and he wouldn't. He just said that he problably shouldn't have said them. He said that he doesn't respect her either and he doesn't know her at all!

Be glad some of you have kewl Dad's! What would some of you guys do if YOUR Dad's said that about your g/f's? Thanks

oldman · 06-27-2001, 09:12 PM

Son? Is that you?

Boy, I'm glad to hear that happens to other people. Lemme give you a little perspective from a father's point of view. He probably should have explained the rules of the house but I'm sure (as I did) that he thought you knew most of them and blah. . .blah.. .blah. If you live in someone's house you live by the rules. You may not agree with them but stands to reason nonetheless that is the way it is. If you don't like the rules, you move somewhere else. . as you plan to. Nobody at fault here, just a decision you have to make and stick with. For me, I wait up at night waiting for him to come home so I'll know when I go to sleep that he's safe. THe fear of that visit from the police late at night to tell you your son has been hurt or worse eats at a parent no matter who you are.
Why is it everyone under the age of 21 wants to settle everything with fists? Fathers don't do the things they do in order to start fights. They do them because they love you enough to die for you and they want you to do what is right and good with your life. (something we always fear you as kids will screw up if left to yourselves) IT's hard to watch your son make a mistake you know is going to cost him for years to come.
When it comes to wimmen. . .we were raised in an age where good girls didn't openly engage in sex and they sure as h#ll didn't let a guy sleep over with them. If they did they sure sisn't want the parents to know about it. Those who did were considered less than savory by respectable folk.
Don't get me wrong, we spent most of our lives looking for the women with loose morals but we didn't bring em home to meet Momma.
I've been going through most of the same thing with my youngest who is 18 and knows a lot more about life than I do. I haven't resorted to namecalling but I've lost a lot of respect for his lil girlfreind who seems to be fueling the fire between us every chance she gets. He made the comment about being kicked out but the truth is I love him enough to let him find out for himself how tough it is no matter how much it hurts me. ( and it does) Your dad just wants the best for you and maybe he just hasn't found the words to tell you what he feels right now. Talk to him about it. I promise he won't eat your head for wanting to talk it out. Just don't discount everything he says as wrong because you don't agree with it. Keep Mom handy too. . ..they can be great referees. Trust me I know.

[This message has been edited by oldman (edited 06-27-2001).]

Mercury · 06-28-2001, 01:43 AM

I have it the other way.

My dad, and step dad are cool. Honest to god, everytime I start Dating a new girl, they give me 20 dollars and tell me to pick up some rubbers....Dont ask.

They dont care how they act just as long as there good looking. Now my Mom, shes real out spoken and judgemental when it comes to my girlfriend. Shes called every one of them, Tramps, WHores, Fluzzies, sluts, everyone of them except my current girlfriend. Shes never said anything bad about her.

She used to try to get me to come home early while I was dating these other girls, never said a word about what time I get home when I'm out with the guys, or out with my current Girlfriend.

I know it makes home life hard. Wish I could give some advice, but parental issues differ from every individual.

ed1371 · 06-28-2001, 03:25 AM

read my post about seeing my dad after 6 years...dont take em for granted ****** cause someday they wont be there..

-ed

stanger8172 · 06-30-2001, 10:50 AM

oldman, I don't know where you got the "We" from but I don't take women with loose morals seriously. MY girlfriend is not the names he called her( sl*t and wh*re). She is FAR from and beyond them. I applaud you for not resorting to namecalling. It sounds like you can respect your son enough to know that it might put a wall between you. It also sounds like you are good friends with your son too.

Mercury,
Hopefully, your Mom has recognized the nasty name-calling in the past and is trying to reach you in a more positive light.

Ed1371,
I read that post and it made me smile. Sounds like you two get along. I love my Dad too but right now it is tough. He doesn't know my g/f. And to call her a sl*t and a wh**e is stooping low for a FATHER. My older bro is living with his g/f and they have a beautiful son together. They are not married yet he respects them and not us. Yeah, you can call me an ******* but a Father supports his son and talks to him and not at him. My idea of a father isn't calling his son's girlfriend nasty names. He doesn't know her and to pretend that he does is not right.

KillaZ350 · 06-30-2001, 12:44 PM

My dad acts like that guys dad from the movie "American Pie" whenever a girl comes over. he does it becaus he thinks he's being funny, which he is, but still retarted...

------------------
Arctic White 1998 Camaro Z28 LS1
See my Can Of Whoop Azz Here

Flowmaster 3in A/T Catback - MTI Air Lid/K&N filter, FRA, under drive pulley, SLP Ypipe, !MAF, Summit Cut-Out
Tread Lightly -gmhtp

stanger8172 · 06-30-2001, 06:52 PM

LOL! Has your Dad busted out the whoopie cushion?

oldman · 07-01-2001, 03:51 AM

Stanger, perhaps I should clarify. . .i wasn't referring to you with the comment about wimmen with loose morals, just the male gender in general and certainly not all inclusive. I just find it ironic that back when I was younger and for generations before that, there were girls you really enjoyed "dating" but wouldn't dare tell your parents about. Double standards for sure. Before anyone accuses me of being archaic, I don't for a minute think that our generation was any more truly moral than today's "generation X". One study I read indicated that there were more teen pregnancies in 1958 than in 1988. THe difference was we hid stuff like that to the point of insanity for some. I'm sure your girlfreind is a wonderful person and I wouldn't for a minute think badly of her having not met her. But when your Dad and I and lots of other old folks, were growing up, a guy flat didn't spend the night in a girl's house, room or yard for that matter and, if it did happen it was one of those top secret things you would die for before you told anyone. Think how brazen you two look in his eyes for a minute. I'm not defending his actions but I can see where he is coming from. Like I said, talk to him. Take your own advice and don't let him build a wall between you. It's easier to knock the bricks loose while it's still fresh.
Old farts are a hard headed bunch but don't give up on him. Good luck

69fastback · 07-02-2001, 11:07 AM

My dad is always cool with the g/fs that i have had. It is always my mom that has the problem. I think she just hates the fact that anohter women is taking her boy away. She is alot better about it know that i am 24. But in high school she hated all my g/fs

------------------
69 428 cobra jet: tons of mods.
97 f-150 5.4 xlt mark III
BUCKLE UP. SUCK IT IN.
Objects in the mirror are about to disappear...
QUICKLY!!!!!!

06-27-2001, 04:32 PM	#1
stanger8172 Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Milwaukee,Wisconsin Posts: 380	My Dad's hard head I live at home here with my Mom and Dad so I can go to school full-time and get my Associates in Graphic Arts. After I get my degree I am outta here. I live here for free, help them clean, and don't give them a hard time. My beef is that back in February he came home and told me to pack it up and move out because I would sleep over in my girlfriends dorm half the time. He NEVER expressed how he felt about my absence at home. He also called my girlfriend a ** and a * ! I really wanted him to swing on me too ya know! He said all that ** and never heard another thing about it. My Mom said I wasn't kicked out and I am still here today. Today, I apologized for cussing him out and he accepted it. I had to ask him to apologize for calling my g/f those names and he wouldn't. He just said that he problably shouldn't have said them. He said that he doesn't respect her either and he doesn't know her at all! Be glad some of you have kewl Dad's! What would some of you guys do if YOUR Dad's said that about your g/f's? Thanks

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06-27-2001, 09:12 PM	#2
oldman Registered Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Amarillo, Texas, 79107 Posts: 78	Son? Is that you? Boy, I'm glad to hear that happens to other people. Lemme give you a little perspective from a father's point of view. He probably should have explained the rules of the house but I'm sure (as I did) that he thought you knew most of them and blah. . .blah.. .blah. If you live in someone's house you live by the rules. You may not agree with them but stands to reason nonetheless that is the way it is. If you don't like the rules, you move somewhere else. . as you plan to. Nobody at fault here, just a decision you have to make and stick with. For me, I wait up at night waiting for him to come home so I'll know when I go to sleep that he's safe. THe fear of that visit from the police late at night to tell you your son has been hurt or worse eats at a parent no matter who you are. Why is it everyone under the age of 21 wants to settle everything with fists? Fathers don't do the things they do in order to start fights. They do them because they love you enough to die for you and they want you to do what is right and good with your life. (something we always fear you as kids will screw up if left to yourselves) IT's hard to watch your son make a mistake you know is going to cost him for years to come. When it comes to wimmen. . .we were raised in an age where good girls didn't openly engage in sex and they sure as h#ll didn't let a guy sleep over with them. If they did they sure sisn't want the parents to know about it. Those who did were considered less than savory by respectable folk. Don't get me wrong, we spent most of our lives looking for the women with loose morals but we didn't bring em home to meet Momma. I've been going through most of the same thing with my youngest who is 18 and knows a lot more about life than I do. I haven't resorted to namecalling but I've lost a lot of respect for his lil girlfreind who seems to be fueling the fire between us every chance she gets. He made the comment about being kicked out but the truth is I love him enough to let him find out for himself how tough it is no matter how much it hurts me. ( and it does) Your dad just wants the best for you and maybe he just hasn't found the words to tell you what he feels right now. Talk to him about it. I promise he won't eat your head for wanting to talk it out. Just don't discount everything he says as wrong because you don't agree with it. Keep Mom handy too. . ..they can be great referees. Trust me I know. [This message has been edited by oldman (edited 06-27-2001).]

06-28-2001, 01:43 AM	#3
Mercury The Redneck James Bond Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Fayetteville NC Posts: 1,707	I have it the other way. My dad, and step dad are cool. Honest to god, everytime I start Dating a new girl, they give me 20 dollars and tell me to pick up some rubbers....Dont ask. They dont care how they act just as long as there good looking. Now my Mom, shes real out spoken and judgemental when it comes to my girlfriend. Shes called every one of them, Tramps, WHores, Fluzzies, sluts, everyone of them except my current girlfriend. Shes never said anything bad about her. She used to try to get me to come home early while I was dating these other girls, never said a word about what time I get home when I'm out with the guys, or out with my current Girlfriend. I know it makes home life hard. Wish I could give some advice, but parental issues differ from every individual.

06-28-2001, 03:25 AM	#4
ed1371 Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 469	read my post about seeing my dad after 6 years...dont take em for granted ****** cause someday they wont be there.. -ed

06-30-2001, 10:50 AM	#5
stanger8172 Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Milwaukee,Wisconsin Posts: 380	oldman, I don't know where you got the "We" from but I don't take women with loose morals seriously. MY girlfriend is not the names he called her( slt and whre). She is FAR from and beyond them. I applaud you for not resorting to namecalling. It sounds like you can respect your son enough to know that it might put a wall between you. It also sounds like you are good friends with your son too. Mercury, Hopefully, your Mom has recognized the nasty name-calling in the past and is trying to reach you in a more positive light. Ed1371, I read that post and it made me smile. Sounds like you two get along. I love my Dad too but right now it is tough. He doesn't know my g/f. And to call her a slt and a whe is stooping low for a FATHER. My older bro is living with his g/f and they have a beautiful son together. They are not married yet he respects them and not us. Yeah, you can call me an ****** but a Father supports his son and talks to him and not at him. My idea of a father isn't calling his son's girlfriend nasty names. He doesn't know her and to pretend that he does is not right.

06-30-2001, 12:44 PM	#6
KillaZ350 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Columbia, South Carolina Posts: 214	My dad acts like that guys dad from the movie "American Pie" whenever a girl comes over. he does it becaus he thinks he's being funny, which he is, but still retarted... ------------------ Arctic White 1998 Camaro Z28 LS1 See my Can Of Whoop Azz Here Flowmaster 3in A/T Catback - MTI Air Lid/K&N filter, FRA, under drive pulley, SLP Ypipe, !MAF, Summit Cut-Out Tread Lightly -gmhtp

06-30-2001, 06:52 PM	#7
stanger8172 Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Milwaukee,Wisconsin Posts: 380	LOL! Has your Dad busted out the whoopie cushion?

07-01-2001, 03:51 AM	#8
oldman Registered Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Amarillo, Texas, 79107 Posts: 78	Stanger, perhaps I should clarify. . .i wasn't referring to you with the comment about wimmen with loose morals, just the male gender in general and certainly not all inclusive. I just find it ironic that back when I was younger and for generations before that, there were girls you really enjoyed "dating" but wouldn't dare tell your parents about. Double standards for sure. Before anyone accuses me of being archaic, I don't for a minute think that our generation was any more truly moral than today's "generation X". One study I read indicated that there were more teen pregnancies in 1958 than in 1988. THe difference was we hid stuff like that to the point of insanity for some. I'm sure your girlfreind is a wonderful person and I wouldn't for a minute think badly of her having not met her. But when your Dad and I and lots of other old folks, were growing up, a guy flat didn't spend the night in a girl's house, room or yard for that matter and, if it did happen it was one of those top secret things you would die for before you told anyone. Think how brazen you two look in his eyes for a minute. I'm not defending his actions but I can see where he is coming from. Like I said, talk to him. Take your own advice and don't let him build a wall between you. It's easier to knock the bricks loose while it's still fresh. Old farts are a hard headed bunch but don't give up on him. Good luck

07-02-2001, 11:07 AM	#9
69fastback IRAQ VET Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: high desert California Posts: 1,480	My dad is always cool with the g/fs that i have had. It is always my mom that has the problem. I think she just hates the fact that anohter women is taking her boy away. She is alot better about it know that i am 24. But in high school she hated all my g/fs ------------------ 69 428 cobra jet: tons of mods. 97 f-150 5.4 xlt mark III BUCKLE UP. SUCK IT IN. Objects in the mirror are about to disappear... QUICKLY!!!!!!