There's a guy just outside of town named Jack. Try and find him. He has these magic beans, and they might make everything all better for you.
Sorry dude, tranny has to come out, and nothing short of roofing tar is going to slow the leak down.
It's really not that big of a deal. Especially once you just accept what has to be done. You could easily do it in an afternoon, provided you think it through ahead of time, and be prepared to do what you have to do.
You'll be bragging about it next week.
Take care,
~Chris