A couple jokes.
 

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A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.

The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, " why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
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English / German Car Phrases

How would the Germans pronounce English car words and phrases?

• Accident
  *Das Bleedinkmess
• Backfire
  *Der Lowdenbangrmekkenjumpen
• Bonnet
  *Pullnob und Knucklechoppen
• Breathalyser
  *Der Puffitinter fur Pistenarsen
• Clutch
  *Die Kuplink mit achlippen und
• schaken
• Cyclist
  *Der Peddalpushink Pilloken
• Double White Lines
  *Overtaken und Krunchen
• Estate Car
  *Die Bagzeroomforshagginaute
• Exhaust
  *Spitzenpoppenhangentuben
• Exhaust Fumes
  *Dar koffundschplitterpoluter
• Fog Warning
  *Die Puttenklogdown und Fukkit
• Fuel Gauge
  *Der Walletemptyung Meter
• Garage
  *Der Haiway Robberung
• Gear Lever
  *Biggensticken fur Kangaroochoppen
• Headlights
  *Das Dippendontdazzelubasted
• Highway Code
  *Der Wipen fur Arsen
• Indicators
  *Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken
• Juggernaut
  *Der Fukkengratt Trukken
• Learner
  *Die Twatten Mit Elplate
• Near Accident
  *Der Phewn Near Schittenselfen
• Parking Meter
  *Die Tennarpincscher und Zlockenarr
• Power Brakes
  *Der edbangeronvindschreen stoppenquick
• Puncture
  *Die Phlatt Mit Bludyfucken
• Rear View Mirror
  *Der Yonkunter ist Tooklosan
• Seat Belt
  *Der klunkenklikken frauleinstrapper
• Skid
  *Der Banannen Waltzen
• Speedometer
  *Der Egobooster und Linenshooter
• Traffic Jam
  *Die Bluddifukkindamundblast
• Tyres
  *Flatfahrts
• Windscreen Wiper
  *Der flippenflappenmuckenspredder

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A Blond Paints the Porch

Julie the blonde was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handywoman.

The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for ya. How would you like to paint the porch?"

"Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.

"Well, uh, how much do you want?" asked the man.

"Is fifty bucks OK?" Julie asked.

"Yeah that's great.? You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."

The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks!? Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.

"Well she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.

About 15 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner.

The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!"

The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.

"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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hahaha that's funny... blondes aren't really that dumb, well maybe some, but not ALL :o

I know a blonde that's pretty intelligent and pretty. :D

lmao pretty funny. no miss blondie not all blondes are dumb, the last joke was cool because she kinda burned the couple with the porch lol. :D :D :D

lol that last one was pretty funny. I know one blonde that has to be the dumbest person I will ever encounter. She is a great and very nice person, but she isn't to smart. lol I had to explain to her one day what shinny meant. lol As if I was to refer to over there by the shinny car. lol :D

Either way, good jokes. :D
§am.