[1969Mach1]

See it's not the thing that I don't trust her. It's the thing I don't trust the guys, and who knows if she may like them alittle she may learn to like them more which will ruin our relationship. And I don't trust those guys, especially one guy, I hate him so much, everytime I think of him I get angry and go do pushups or do something to release anger. I could rave on about him and swear like a pirate for a hour how much I hate him. I've only met him once but my g/f talks about him every now and then but she is like he is a jerk and is so mean to me but they are good friends so there pretty much just flirting. Ohh... man I'm feeling this anger coming up. I like pretty much broke my knuckles one night, I read a email to a friend about him and I got so mad, my friend was there and there like you need a smoke and I'll never smoke I'm just flipped out on a mail box. (Big metal ones) I punched it about 5 times. I was so mad. If I ever see him, and he says one wrong word to me I'm probably going to go crazy on him. I never fight, you have to really piss me off but I can fight. I'm crazy, I'm not that big but I'm quick and I can take an extrem amount of pain, and if I'm mad I'll never go down unless you kill me. Ohh... well I'll see how it goes, but I'm not sure how long this is going to last. 5 months this Monday and then who knows, how much more. **** is getting thick. And yeh I know my chances of being with her for ever are pretty slim but I do care for her, just don't appreciate some of the stuff she does to me but alot of it I love.

Ohh... well damn if ya do and damn if ya don't.