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Mr 5 0 · 12-13-2001, 09:49 PM

89 LX:

Don't mean to pile on here but I have to agree with the folks who see your negative comments regarding your intended marriage as indicating that you're conflicted, at best, about making this huge step. Relating marriage to 'pulling the trigger' (death?) and other less delicate metaphores makes one question your real feelings about asking a women to marry you.
The comment I edited out (regarding responsibility) was especially telling.

Fears of losing your familiar and comfortable way of life are normal but this negative tone - as in your topic title - My Life is Over says volumes about your real aversion to committment right now. That isn't a good sign.

I'm just another guy on a messageboard and have no more insight than anyone else, but if we were personal friends, I would be putting my hand on your shoulder and telling you: "Bud; Don't do this - to her or to yourself. You're just not ready".

Marriage is total committment; not just 'I love you' all the time. Love is crucial, of course, but it won't solve all the petty problems that living with another person 24/7 brings. If you can't both be willing to sacrifice some things, sometimes, in order to please the other person - the one you love - then it won't work. The feelings of abject failure following a divorce are something you don't want to experience I'm sure, so tread carefully and analyze your real motives for wanting to marry.

I'm married to a sweet, gentle, smart and loving woman who understands me and loves me enough to let me be myself. I appreciate her for that and do all I can to make her happy in big and small ways and let her be herself, too. We compliment each other as well as love each other. It's a beautiful thing...when it works that way.

She insisted on driving the 'Stang off the dealers lot and home when I bought it new. She drives a five-speed as well as any guy, but she doesn't race. I bought her a new Mazda 626 a few years back; just the way she wanted it. Now we both have the cars we want. Compromise and understanding. All essential for a lasting relationship.

Think about it, at least, before you make the move...and possibly regret it.

12-13-2001, 09:49 PM	#13
Mr 5 0 Conservative Individualist Join Date: May 1997 Location: Wherever I need to be Posts: 7,487	89 LX: Don't mean to pile on here but I have to agree with the folks who see your negative comments regarding your intended marriage as indicating that you're conflicted, at best, about making this huge step. Relating marriage to 'pulling the trigger' (death?) and other less delicate metaphores makes one question your real feelings about asking a women to marry you. The comment I edited out (regarding responsibility) was especially telling. Fears of losing your familiar and comfortable way of life are normal but this negative tone - as in your topic title - My Life is Over says volumes about your real aversion to committment right now. That isn't a good sign. I'm just another guy on a messageboard and have no more insight than anyone else, but if we were personal friends, I would be putting my hand on your shoulder and telling you: "Bud; Don't do this - to her or to yourself. You're just not ready". Marriage is total committment; not just 'I love you' all the time. Love is crucial, of course, but it won't solve all the petty problems that living with another person 24/7 brings. If you can't both be willing to sacrifice some things, sometimes, in order to please the other person - the one you love - then it won't work. The feelings of abject failure following a divorce are something you don't want to experience I'm sure, so tread carefully and analyze your real motives for wanting to marry. I'm married to a sweet, gentle, smart and loving woman who understands me and loves me enough to let me be myself. I appreciate her for that and do all I can to make her happy in big and small ways and let her be herself, too. We compliment each other as well as love each other. It's a beautiful thing...when it works that way. She insisted on driving the 'Stang off the dealers lot and home when I bought it new. She drives a five-speed as well as any guy, but she doesn't race. I bought her a new Mazda 626 a few years back; just the way she wanted it. Now we both have the cars we want. Compromise and understanding. All essential for a lasting relationship. Think about it, at least, before you make the move...and possibly regret it.