Loss and rememberance
Mercury:
A very sad, tragic story that is all too common. I lost an aquaintance (at 17) from the same cause; a self-inflicted bullet. Ironically, I had befriended another kid (at 15) who attempted suicide but recovered and was simply hungry for acceptance, which I offered and he gratefully accepted. It was very easy to do.
Of course we can't ever know what inner demons drove this young guy to take his life before he was even old enough to get a drivers license, but it's usually a feeling of despair and the inability to see any hope for the future. How sad is that, at 15?
Obviously, you feel a bit guilty as well as saddened by this loss, as you should. So would I. Yes, maybe you could have momentarily befriended the kid and maybe that would have made some difference in his life, but maybe not. Some older guys talking to him might not have changed his despair and maybe he was so shy that he would have just skated away had you approached him. Who can know these things? Not you, or me.
I suggest that you or anyone interested in reading this use this unhappy incident to open yourself to others a bit more in the future. Saying 'hi' to that shy girl or kid won't take much effort but can change a person's life, and even if it doesn't or they reject your acknowledgment, what have you lost? A random act of kindness is never wasted.
Something to at least consider on this occasion of loss for you, Merc, as I'm sure you will.
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