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Mr 5 0 · 07-20-2002, 03:47 PM

1969Mach1:

I didn't mean to be harsh on you but when you ask for opinions here, be prepared that they won't all agree with everything you do or say.

Look, you claim that everything would be perfect with your girlfriend if it wasn't for this guy that she seems to be attracted to.

I doubt it.

Although you do seem to be working on your relationship with her one can even overdo that at some point. A little distance at times can be a good thing. Not a fight, just don't be available 24/7 or jump whenever she calls.

The fact that you feel insecure about her isn't a real good sign after 13 months of intense dating. The fact is that she's young and of course she's going to notice other guys. I've been married awhile and my wife still notices other guys and I notice other women. So what? We don't say much about it and we certainly don't do anything about it. We're human and it's just a fact of life. No big deal.

Don't obsess over this and understand that this may not be the girl for you, long-term. Frankly, your relationship sounds somewhat one-sided to me and it's mostly on your side. The hot remarks she sent to the guy are off-base and may be a sign that she's wandering off your personal reservation. It happens.

On the other hand, talk is cheap and many girls just like to keep some guy on the side interested to prove to themselves that they're attractive and desirable.

I don't know how this will end but you stand a very good chance of driving this girl away with your intensity and over-protectiveness. Then again, she may already be looking for greener grass. You need to find out.

Since you've been sneaky about getting info, I wouldn't reveal that to her (it's insulting and creepy) but I would try to have a heart-to-heart talk and let her know that you know about this guy and that it hurts you. She may be understanding or more likely, just laugh it off but you need to confront your fears and not drag the other guy into it and force her to be in an awkward situation. You could end up leaving alone.

Sorry if I can't be all positive for you but I'm offering you my opinion based on what I observe of your situation, as you've presented it here. I may well be wrong and hey, the advice is worth what you paid for it but still, I hope it all works out for you.

07-20-2002, 03:47 PM	#5
Mr 5 0 Conservative Individualist Join Date: May 1997 Location: Wherever I need to be Posts: 7,487	Choices 1969Mach1: I didn't mean to be harsh on you but when you ask for opinions here, be prepared that they won't all agree with everything you do or say. Look, you claim that everything would be perfect with your girlfriend if it wasn't for this guy that she seems to be attracted to. I doubt it. Although you do seem to be working on your relationship with her one can even overdo that at some point. A little distance at times can be a good thing. Not a fight, just don't be available 24/7 or jump whenever she calls. The fact that you feel insecure about her isn't a real good sign after 13 months of intense dating. The fact is that she's young and of course she's going to notice other guys. I've been married awhile and my wife still notices other guys and I notice other women. So what? We don't say much about it and we certainly don't do anything about it. We're human and it's just a fact of life. No big deal. Don't obsess over this and understand that this may not be the girl for you, long-term. Frankly, your relationship sounds somewhat one-sided to me and it's mostly on your side. The hot remarks she sent to the guy are off-base and may be a sign that she's wandering off your personal reservation. It happens. On the other hand, talk is cheap and many girls just like to keep some guy on the side interested to prove to themselves that they're attractive and desirable. I don't know how this will end but you stand a very good chance of driving this girl away with your intensity and over-protectiveness. Then again, she may already be looking for greener grass. You need to find out. Since you've been sneaky about getting info, I wouldn't reveal that to her (it's insulting and creepy) but I would try to have a heart-to-heart talk and let her know that you know about this guy and that it hurts you. She may be understanding or more likely, just laugh it off but you need to confront your fears and not drag the other guy into it and force her to be in an awkward situation. You could end up leaving alone. Sorry if I can't be all positive for you but I'm offering you my opinion based on what I observe of your situation, as you've presented it here. I may well be wrong and hey, the advice is worth what you paid for it but still, I hope it all works out for you.