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Old 09-20-2002, 10:04 AM   #1
cyberstang5.0
347ci of HORSE POWER!!!
 
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,416
Default Jokes of the day

What's the best form of birth control after 50?

Nudity.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?


45 lb.

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What's the difference between a boyfriend and
husband?

45 minutes.

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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just sit there in the dark and *****.

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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

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What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

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What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.

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What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third
grade. Who has the biggest boobs?

The blonde, because she's 18.

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Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

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What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

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What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?


Beer Nuts are $1 and Deer Nuts are always under a
buck.

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Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.

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Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Kentucky?

Everyone has the same DNA.

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What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact with
a woman?

Breasts don't have eyes.

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What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a
Northern zoo?

A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the
front of the cage along with a recipe.

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What's the Cuban National Anthem?

Row row row your boat.

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What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale
and a Southern fairy tale?

A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairy tale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna
believe this ****."
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