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Capri306 · 12-27-2000, 12:46 AM

Hmm, this is a very interesting thread to me, particularly b/c I'm going through a similar thing now, only it's the aftermath I've been dealing with for too long now. Here's what's happened to me, judge for yourself:

I broke up with my g/f of over 3 years this past June. The problems? I wanted time to myself, she always needed some attention (normal, right?). These contributed to the breakup, but I think my underlying urge to "see what's out there" got the best of me, and her. She begged and pleaded for us to get back together all the following month; I did nothing but bad-mouth her and told her no way. I went out with another girl in late July, she moved to Cincinnati, and that relationship fell through. I was crushed, and I was back to square one. About early November or so, I got severely depressed. So much that it's affected my school and work, and I've felt nothing but loneliness since then. I've been talking with the girl I broke up with (we don't hate each other, and my angry feelings towards her are gone). I found out that she's intending to marry this guy she's been going out with for only 2 MONTHS, she's 19, and they fight constantly. She gets into a bad mood for one reason or another, and he gets loud & pissed because she's in a bad mood...good relationship there, huh??? *hears divorce papers shuffling*

I figured out the reason I've been unhappy & depressed for the past months. It's the fact I've never truly gotten over her. We went through so much **** together...and it was we ourselves that lead to our demise. It's tragic in my eyes. When I've talked with her, one thing she says she misses is my compassion. This guy she's going out with apparently has none. I miss her for a lot of reasons, too, among them her patience, understanding, and tenderness with everything. Now I have the burden of trying to leave her alone and find my own path. It's not easy...I'm going at it day by day, but sometimes I either want her back entirely or never want to see her again. It feels like an all or nothing situation; it's bitter agony just to sit across a table from her and not be able to hold her hand or touch her face.

Now that I've figured THAT out (whew!), I'm getting by on my own. Heth is right, enjoy being with your friends and hold them close. They'll be the only ones around when all the girls have come and gone. I too am starting to enjoy and like life again, and I'm calling up and hanging out with friends I haven't talked to since high school. They've changed, I've changed, so we've got a lot of catching up to do. Tomorrow night I'm hanging out with a girl I graduated with and haven't spoken a word to in years. We were friends since kindergarten, but time & space pushed us away.

Quick, I know your pain. I don't know how long you're going to drag it out between the two of you, but things have to change. It sounds like you just need to back down for some time, and see if she notices. Get her more involved in the relationship, ya know? That's one thing I wish I'd done. Make her realize you care so much, and not just by words. You'd be surprised how far little things go. For example: get her a rose for no reason, pick up something because it reminded you of her...God, the little things can go on forever. But like I said, let it cool off for a bit, but don't let it go cold. It's up to you, dude. Good luck, and yes there is life beyond girls.

p.s. I'm 20 too, hell isn't it?

------------------
Capri306, Moderator, The Mustang Works Online
1979 Mercury Capri, 5.0L -- C4 -- 2.73
1987 Mustang LX Notch

<--- New Timeslips

[This message has been edited by Capri306 (edited 12-27-2000).]

12-27-2000, 12:46 AM	#10
Capri306 Moderator Join Date: Sep 1998 Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA Posts: 1,001	Hmm, this is a very interesting thread to me, particularly b/c I'm going through a similar thing now, only it's the aftermath I've been dealing with for too long now. Here's what's happened to me, judge for yourself: I broke up with my g/f of over 3 years this past June. The problems? I wanted time to myself, she always needed some attention (normal, right?). These contributed to the breakup, but I think my underlying urge to "see what's out there" got the best of me, and her. She begged and pleaded for us to get back together all the following month; I did nothing but bad-mouth her and told her no way. I went out with another girl in late July, she moved to Cincinnati, and that relationship fell through. I was crushed, and I was back to square one. About early November or so, I got severely depressed. So much that it's affected my school and work, and I've felt nothing but loneliness since then. I've been talking with the girl I broke up with (we don't hate each other, and my angry feelings towards her are gone). I found out that she's intending to marry this guy she's been going out with for only 2 MONTHS, she's 19, and they fight constantly. She gets into a bad mood for one reason or another, and he gets loud & pissed because she's in a bad mood...good relationship there, huh??? hears divorce papers shuffling I figured out the reason I've been unhappy & depressed for the past months. It's the fact I've never truly gotten over her. We went through so much ** together...and it was we ourselves that lead to our demise. It's tragic in my eyes. When I've talked with her, one thing she says she misses is my compassion. This guy she's going out with apparently has none. I miss her for a lot of reasons, too, among them her patience, understanding, and tenderness with everything. Now I have the burden of trying to leave her alone and find my own path. It's not easy...I'm going at it day by day, but sometimes I either want her back entirely or never want to see her again. It feels like an all or nothing situation; it's bitter agony just to sit across a table from her and not be able to hold her hand or touch her face. Now that I've figured THAT out (whew!), I'm getting by on my own. Heth is right, enjoy being with your friends and hold them close. They'll be the only ones around when all the girls have come and gone. I too am starting to enjoy and like life again, and I'm calling up and hanging out with friends I haven't talked to since high school. They've changed, I've changed, so we've got a lot of catching up to do. Tomorrow night I'm hanging out with a girl I graduated with and haven't spoken a word to in years. We were friends since kindergarten, but time & space pushed us away. Quick, I know your pain. I don't know how long you're going to drag it out between the two of you, but things have to change. It sounds like you just need to back down for some time, and see if she notices. Get her more involved in the relationship, ya know? That's one thing I wish I'd done. Make her realize you care so much, and not just by words. You'd be surprised how far little things go. For example: get her a rose for no reason, pick up something because it reminded you of her...God, the little things can go on forever. But like I said, let it cool off for a bit, but don't let it go cold. It's up to you, dude. Good luck, and yes there is life beyond girls. p.s. I'm 20 too, hell isn't it? ------------------ Capri306, Moderator, The Mustang Works Online 1979 Mercury Capri, 5.0L -- C4 -- 2.73 1987 Mustang LX Notch <--- New Timeslips** [This message has been edited by Capri306 (edited 12-27-2000).]