I appreciate the words of encouragment and wisdom friends.
Its really hard to put into words how I feel at the moment. Words can do no justice to the plethora of emotions and the magnitude of them.
At least I have my cars, and my artwork to keep me occupied during my time away from work. But all Drawing and painting seem to do is make me more aware of my feelings.
And if I take my telescope out and look at the stars it does the same thing, plus makes me feel even more lonley.
I dont want to walk away, God knows, but I have exhausted all of my energy and effort.
You know what, Hearing Enya Music countless times on CNN doesnt help either, thats for damn sure. The music is beautifull, but I'll be damned if it isnt depressing.
This is the first time ever in my 24 year life that I havent felt ready to start dating the second I broke up with someone. All I feel is this hollowness, this emptiness thats so utter and deep. Guess its time to start writting on my story again.
Something else I think alot of is how I changed her life, and hope that she doesnt feel the way I do now. I know that sounds rather arrogant of me to assume I had that impact on anyone, but our relationship was.......a really close one. Something niether of us had experienced before. I want her to be happy. I hate hurting people, I dont mind bringing pain and hurt on myself so much.
Either way, if we meet again, or go our seperate ways never to cross paths again, I wish her a happy life.
UNIT. As for the Fed Ex girl I talked about this summer, she went back to college. Her last day was the last day of August if I remember correctly. Her brother in law (Whos a driver for us) tells me she says Hi, and asks how I'm doing.
Right now though, I dont feel like seeing anyone else. I'll probably feel that way for a while. The only thing I want to get into is my car, and drive.
Looks like my cars are my life again.
Topless, I still cant really do much with my email. I'm using my sisters computer and cant save my crap to her drive. My computer is still toast. That sould change after Wednseday though.