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Mercury · 11-15-2001, 02:10 PM

Why am I so Stupid? No matter how many times I get bitten, I go on Back? What the hell is wrong with me?

Anyway onto my post. I have to have some kind of chemical imbalance of the brain that makes me 100% incapable of making the right decision when it comes to Relationships.

I know what it is; I must think with my butt and not my brain. I'm just so scared of being alone in life. Thats one thing I fear. I don't want to die a lonely old man. Serious. I have nightmares about being alone through life and passing away without anyone really noticing my absence.

I'm so afraid of hurting the feelings of someone I care about. I mean its obvious things aren't working out, no matter how many times we try, or how hard we try to understand one another. Me and her are just way to different.

Seems like no one knows what love and devotion is anymore. Its depressing. The divorce rates are through the damn roof, I always hear of people cheating on one another with out a care for their boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife.

My girlfriend has always been 100% true and faithful, its been 4 years today (Nov 15th), and that means a lot to me. I've been burned bad by cheaters the last 3 relationships. One had 7 guys, the other 3.

I feel that I somehow brought it on myself. I tell myself - what anyone else would (I try to be my own counseler) and that it wasn't my fault. But I can't help but feel that it IS MY FAULT.

I'm so afraid to get in another relationship. I dont want to be hurt like the previous relationships.

I'm going to do what the guy In Tennesse did a few years back. Put papers in to marry his car. (It was a 95 Mustang GT).

All I want is for someone to love me for who I am. Not for who they want me to be. I mean I'm willing to change a little within reason. I'm very flexable. Someone with the same interests as me. I'm about to give up and just accept that maybe I was meant never to have the kids and grandchildren I (eventually) want, but I'm destined to be alone. I hate that word: ALONE.

I spent 6 years of my teenage life ALONE (Not meaning friends or females). I had problems no one knew about but me and one other...Hope that person burns in HELL

I never want to be alone like that again. I've had help from a handfull of close friends.

Why in the hell do I do this to myself? I've jumped a few serouis hurdles life has thrown me, but it seems like I run back around and trip back over them.

I just don't want to be in the state (of Mind) I was 6 years ago.
I hate winter, everything's dying and an ugly shade of brown.

11-15-2001, 02:10 PM	#1
Mercury The Redneck James Bond Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Fayetteville NC Posts: 1,707	Why am I such a Glutton for Punishment Why am I so Stupid? No matter how many times I get bitten, I go on Back? What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway onto my post. I have to have some kind of chemical imbalance of the brain that makes me 100% incapable of making the right decision when it comes to Relationships. I know what it is; I must think with my butt and not my brain. I'm just so scared of being alone in life. Thats one thing I fear. I don't want to die a lonely old man. Serious. I have nightmares about being alone through life and passing away without anyone really noticing my absence. I'm so afraid of hurting the feelings of someone I care about. I mean its obvious things aren't working out, no matter how many times we try, or how hard we try to understand one another. Me and her are just way to different. Seems like no one knows what love and devotion is anymore. Its depressing. The divorce rates are through the damn roof, I always hear of people cheating on one another with out a care for their boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife. My girlfriend has always been 100% true and faithful, its been 4 years today (Nov 15th), and that means a lot to me. I've been burned bad by cheaters the last 3 relationships. One had 7 guys, the other 3. I feel that I somehow brought it on myself. I tell myself - what anyone else would (I try to be my own counseler) and that it wasn't my fault. But I can't help but feel that it IS MY FAULT. I'm so afraid to get in another relationship. I dont want to be hurt like the previous relationships. I'm going to do what the guy In Tennesse did a few years back. Put papers in to marry his car. (It was a 95 Mustang GT). All I want is for someone to love me for who I am. Not for who they want me to be. I mean I'm willing to change a little within reason. I'm very flexable. Someone with the same interests as me. I'm about to give up and just accept that maybe I was meant never to have the kids and grandchildren I (eventually) want, but I'm destined to be alone. I hate that word: ALONE. I spent 6 years of my teenage life ALONE (Not meaning friends or females). I had problems no one knew about but me and one other...Hope that person burns in HELL I never want to be alone like that again. I've had help from a handfull of close friends. Why in the hell do I do this to myself? I've jumped a few serouis hurdles life has thrown me, but it seems like I run back around and trip back over them. I just don't want to be in the state (of Mind) I was 6 years ago. I hate winter, everything's dying and an ugly shade of brown.