I completely agree. You are overthinking this
WAY TOO MUCH, MERC. No relationship should require as much work as you try to put into it, so if things just aren't working out, screw it before you
get screwed. Take it from those of us who know.
Unit is right on; if she is snooping, she will come back at you with something you said a loooong time ago in a completely different state of mind, but yet act like she's quoting something from the Bible. I've had girls do that, too. "Remember when you said....." I HATE when they try that crap!!!!
I used to be a little like you, Merc, always looking for a relationship. Sooner or later you're going to realize, like I did, you can't look for one or just 'make it happen'. You just have to
let it happen, and treat every encounter like a one-time date thing.....kind of.
