Before I marry

[Mr 5 0]

Originally Posted by RBatson

Marriage is not about love in this country.

Marriage in this country is not about love, its a legal contract.

Screw marriage.

I'm truly sorry to learn of your unhappy marriage experience Rick...but it is your experience - and not necessarily true for every marriage. I have been married a long time and we are as much in love today as we were when we first met. My wife and I 'mesh' and always have. She pleases me and I please her and no one is looking for the 'Exit' sign just because we have a disagreement or happen to be grumpy one day. But that's my experience and I don't necessarily think that all marriages are like mine...just as they are not all like your (former) marriage.

All women are not tramps, evil or gold-diggers waiting to take a mans money after a few weeks of marriage. Neither are they perfect Stepford Wives; obedient and docile and just waiting to serve their man. My wife isn't like that, nor is she a witch or a buster in any way. What I'm saying is that I think you over-generalize what marriage is, based mostly on your own unhappy experience.

While marriage may not be right for you, I do not subscribe to the premise that it's just 'a legal contract' and 'not about love'. It is about love in many cases but marriage takes serious committment, hard work and the ability to realize that marriage is a matter of mutual sharing, not a way to have convenient sex and get someone to cook and clean for you or to get ahold of someone elses money and run with it.

Unrealistic expectations going into marriage is a large part of the divorce problem, along with too-easy divorce laws and an attitude of 'I'll try this and see if it works', often secretly thought while pledging your love to another 'until death do you part', which dooms the chances of a successful marriage right from the beginning.

I wish you well, Rick but I do not accept your take on 'what marriage is', however, as you are divorced and I'm happily married, I think my take may be a tad more realistic.