Before I marry

[Mr 5 0]

Kell ('Unit 5302') made some valid points but let's not forget that 'no-fault' divorce laws only require that the one of the two people in the marriage state that they have 'irreconcilable differences' in order to obtain a divorce. It's simply a catch-all legal term that means: "I want outta here" and, in my opinion, one of many reasons we have such a high divorce rate: it's too easy to say 'forget this', abandon all attempts at finding a way to deal with the natural differences any man and woman will have and then move on in the marriage.

While the car-on-jackstands analogy is a tad weak (but relevant on a Mustang website messageboard) I think using any kind of insurance is a better metaphor. Because we take out auto, home or life insurance does not mean that we all intend to have an auto accident, have our home burn down or die young. However, a marriage is not quite the same as emotions come into play that are not present when insuring inanimate objects, as 'Stang Crazy' noted in his reply to Kell.

I still believe that a pre-nuptial agreement is both a good and bad idea: but which? Well, that depends on the people involved. While it does protect your financial assets from being taken by a greedy and possibly unfaithful spouse in a divorce (at least you hope it does...that is not guaranteed) it also sends the clear message that you are less than totally committed to this journey by virtue of 'hedging your bets' or that you simply do not fully trust the person you are about to dedicate your life to before man and God. Were I not already very happily married and were just starting out, I would not go the pre-nuptial route and I would look askance if my intended bride wanted such an agreement. But that's just me.

As has been noted; if you don't know the person you want to marry well enough to not be surprised if they request a pre-nuptial agreement then you probably are not quite ready for the marriage committment. However, if both parties are in full agreement that they prefer a pre-nuptial agreement before the marriage then this is another story. I can see those two people going that route - bymutual agreement. I know this is often the case with second marriages when both parties are a bit older and have real assets to 'protect'. Two people doing something by mutual agreement, whether it's S&M, buying a house or just signing a pre-nuptial agreement is always logical.

That said: I would prefer to enter a marriage with the intention of growing old with my wife and I would expect to know her character well enough to be assured that if divorce ever happened she would not assume 'barracuda' mannerisms and attempt to 'punish' me by going after my financial assets. That may be seen - by some - as naive but it is not unreasonable, in my view. I would hope that a majority of new marriages can and will begin this June minus the 'insurance' policy of a pre-nuptial agreement.