Before I marry

[jocatmust]

I am very please to see men voice their opinions. I do agree that some women make it bad for all. Alot of my friends talk on and on, on what a guy can do for them. I think this is wrong and that you should judged each other by who they are. I am sorry for you men who have had to suffer b/c of this. I was once married and now divorce. I am still very sad of this and feel I will never move on. My x asked me to sign a pre-nup before we married. I told him that I felt like that each of us should marry on trust and love. It made me feel that my x was setting things up so he could bail any time he wanted. I did tell him that I would take it to a lawyer and have clauses put in there for myself and then sign it. I felt if he wanted it, he could pay for it and take care of it. He didn't and that is not my fault. I wish we had, so maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe we would still be together. In fact, I suggested for us to get a post-nup that you can do in our state to waive what he wanted me to do. No dice. On my wedding day, in fact four hours after we married, he mention his x, it crushed me. I believe in marriage no matter what. On Thanksgiving Day, he almost hit me b/c I tried to wake him up to eat. I also find out secrets he kept from me. It wasn't the secrets, it was the fact he lied to me and kept them. I stayed mad for awhile and you know us women how we can be. I said some things to my husband I should not have b/c when I get mad, I run my mouth, which I will regret for the rest of my life. My husband drank and was not always nice at times. As far as the pre-nup, I do not have a problem with signing away rights to his stuff that he own before me. It is only fair, in fact, in the divorce, I only asked to take my name back and nothing else. I can prove this b/c I have all the papers. I could have done some things. I married for love and if I could not have his love, I wanted nothing. I finally moved away from town to force myself to move on with my life. My x is with someone else and I hope the best for him. He did alot of things to me in the year separation and he deserved stuff done to him, but I love him. I felt he had issues and bad women in his life that made him to do what he did. I could only give him sympathy and mercy. The divorce was very simple, Absolute Divorce. I am planning on going back to school for my third degree and get into this travel program when I am done. I want to go to Alaska for a little while or Hawaii. I guess skys the limit. If one day there is someone meant for me, God will send them to me. Everything in life is a learning experience. I have learned a great deal through my whole experience. Life has ups and downs, and you never know what will happen. Right now, my grandmother is on her death bed. It is sad and she is suffering, but it makes you realize life is to short. Guys, be honest, and understand that all women are not bad. I do understand why yall feel the way you do. It is hard on both sides. The divorce rate in this country is scary. I am hoping that eventually both sexes will take commitment and marriage seriouly. I regret what has happen to me, but I would not change it, as bad as it has been, for nothing. It taught me a great deal and made me a better person. I live with the guilt of things I said to him and that is it. Thanks for listening to my opinion and I usually don't come to this site anymore for personal reasons, but this issues touch me. Good luck to all!

[Unit 5302]

I think it's kinda like police officers. One bad officer makes a bad impression on all police officers. Just a very few bad experiences can lead to the formulation of stereotypes. Obviously much more so with marriages that go bad. There is a lot more hurt involve in a relationship than their is with a cop making your day miserable.

Jim (Mr 5 0), I would agree that marriage should be the way you want it to be. I also believe that people are not as "good" as they used to be. The respect that I was taught for other people and their property is blatently missing from our society so is it realistic to expect that younger members or their generations bring such honerable intentions to marriage concept alone?

Stang_Crazy it's noble to give less credence to material wealth in this day and age; however, money has become increasingly important to ensure that people have the freedom to live their lives in happiness. It seems as though just about everything costs money these days, and I've seen a number of people that have suffered greatly at the hands of greedy ex-spouses. We're talking about people literally being homeless because they can't afford the child support/alimony in concert with food and shelter. By homeless I mean living out of trailers or vans, not walking the street with a shopping cart.

I believe your lack of concern regarding financial well-being allows for an increased risk that you or somebody else would be taken advantage of. Just like identity left. It's a booming business because it's so profitable and easy. Many people do not take necessary measures to protect themselves, which makes it more lucrative for people that specialize in that heinous crime to continue their illegal activities. If they were not able to make so much money for such little effort, they would not choose to exploit people in that manner.

By the way, in my jackstands analogy, I'm commenting on your personal safety. Who cares if the car falls? It's not going to do too much damage to the vehicle. Now, as for the human underneath it.... that's a different story.

[Dark_5.0]

Anyone not worried about material possesions when entering into marriage is a fool. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce.