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Old 06-13-2002, 12:53 AM   #1
Latin Mustang
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Unhappy Friend...

Is dying of cancer and I don't know what to do. I really don't want to go to another funeral this year, I've already been to like 3. I went to prom with this girl her Junior year and my senior year, I took her as a friend. She won't be walking for graduation, she's to ill. I just found out today. Sometimes I wish I could be in her place instead of her. She's young and has a long to live for. She doesn't deserve this, she's only 17 years old.


I know I've brought up the subject of God before, but I don't believe in that. I mean come on, give me a break. Why would God kill someone so young? My mom says I need to keep my religion. WTF for?

My friend that is dying from cancer knows she's going to die soon and she says she thinks shes ready. Why the *** does it have to be her, why can't it be me? Why don't you answer that for me?

Sorry for the bad spelling.
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Old 06-13-2002, 01:05 AM   #2
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That's some serious stuff, man.

I know how you feel about the god thing. I feel the same way when messed up stuff happens, but then there are numerous times when things really work out, and at those times, I embrace religion again. Nonetheless, there's no reason this girl has to suffer like that. All you can do is be a great friend to her while she's here with you. I'll keep both of you in my prayers.
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Old 06-13-2002, 01:18 AM   #3
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Default Questions I can't answer......

I try to stay away from discussions of God and politics, but this one I can't let go by. That being said...

The best answer I can give is that we live in a fallen world. Back in the garden (yeah Eden) Adam and Eve screwed up. So we all will die. Why do some people see 100 while some don't see 20? I don't know, I don't think anyone has a good explanation for this.

The questions you pose are some pretty serious stuff. If you would like, I'll PM you about them. I will be praying for you and your friend. It really sucks, I know. I lost a family member to cancer during Finals at school.

Hopefully Crazy Horse will get in here (or Odie) to lend some insight. Until then, go do something funny stupid to make her laugh. Take it easy man.
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Old 06-13-2002, 02:14 AM   #4
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I know how you feel, my Dad died last year from cancer. It was a hard thing to see, someone as strong as him degrade so fast. It was not fair, and I lost alot of faith. I still miss him to this day, and doubt I will ever get over it, he was my best friend. Good luck, and I wish her a peaceful passing. You will be in my thoughts.
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Old 06-13-2002, 02:38 AM   #5
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bro my mom died from cancer, less than 1 year later my grandmother, died from the heartbreak of my mom, now my wife gtlee aka odie has incurable cancer, it started out as breast cancer then locked on her chest , then went up through her neck, then they stopped it there , then it went into her right arm, which she can barely use now, now it's in her bones= uncurable. but she is hanging in there, am i mad at god, no god has nothing to do with it, i think it's the crap our government lets them put sh--- in our food, dont turn your back on god, he doesnt cause this, i know that i may cuss etc, but i always look at things fom a point of view that god does not like for us to suffer, sorry for anyone that does not beileve in god, but i honestly do, i feel for you & i hope she can get better, but you have to face reality, i would give anything i own or my own life to trade places with my wife, but i can't, i know of an 11 year old girl dying now, i dont think god want's that? , i just dont know what else to say, except i will pray for your friend.
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Old 06-13-2002, 02:44 AM   #6
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Crazy horse, I didn't know that... I'm sorry man.


My grandmother died two weeks after my dad died.
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Old 06-13-2002, 02:54 AM   #7
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it's ok joe, i just try to give her my best everyday, she asked me if it was ok to go to indiana to have time with our youngest daughter & our granduaghter, i said yes, i couldnt deny her request, i know i joke around here, but it's really my escape from reality, anyway im going to indy this weekend to bring her home, i cant wait, so you can run up about 100 posts on me this weekend, heheh , thank's duece, i have faith in our buddy jesus. btw joe i will catch you
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95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow.

04 sonic blue v - six my beater
89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride
84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc
65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020.

black 00gt, gone but never forgotten.

R H C- member # 1
o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask.
goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03
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Old 06-13-2002, 03:06 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crazy Horse GT
btw joe i will catch you
Lol I'm counting on it!! My time on top is running out!


(free post)
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Old 06-13-2002, 03:15 AM   #9
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Talking

Quote:
Originally posted by joe4speed

Lol I'm counting on it!! My time on top is running out!


(free post)
ok, yeah right, free toast
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95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow.

04 sonic blue v - six my beater
89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride
84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc
65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020.

black 00gt, gone but never forgotten.

R H C- member # 1
o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask.
goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03
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Old 06-13-2002, 05:54 AM   #10
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Well, I feel for you, I've basically lost my faith too...I try to make myself believe that I still have it, but let's be real--that's something you just can't lie to yourself about Since I'm so undecided about it, I basically just avoid it, push it away and refuse to confront my feelings on any matters pertaining to religion.

I try to remember why I believed in the first place, but everyday something happens that reminds me why I basically no longer do...
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Old 06-13-2002, 03:20 PM   #11
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Default Death and despair

Latin Mustang:

Please accept my sincere sympathy for your friend's terminal illness.

Anyone can understand your pain and the fairly common reaction of questioning your religious faith (and God) when tragedies happen to us or those we love or feel close to. It's hard.

I find it ironic that often - as in your friend's case - the person facing death has a much better acceptance of it than those around them who are facing a loss, but not death.

God is not killing your friend, cancer is. In the Christian religion we believe that it's undisputable that God gives us our life and God can take it from us at His will. We have no claim to 70 or 80 years on earth. Every day is a gift from God and most of us waste a good deal of it, in my opinion. God doesn't owe us anything - including a long life - - but He gives us much and we are often ungrateful.

We forget, overlook or worse yet, take personal credit for the good things that happen in our lives and then get angry when bad things happen and we sometimes dare to blame God, the creator of life itself. I'v been guilty of doing this too at times but I still believe in the supremacy of God, His dominion over His creation, and his love for mankind.

I don't believe or expect that life on earth should or will be trouble free. The bible tells us it won't be. Heaven is eternal and our goal but mortal life is sometimes hard, although often rewarding, too. As Jesus said: "The rain falls on both the righteous and the unrighteous" (the good and the bad).

I would suggest that in your grief, despair and anger you consider that your lovely young friend is ready to pass into eternity and so, try to be as positive as you can for her as this really isn't about you.

Perhaps some of her serenity may rub off on you and help you deal with this impending loss. God loves this girl - as He loves you - and though it may seem unfair, God knows better than we do what is best for us, even to the very timing of our deaths and He does not give us more than we can bear, if we call on Jesus in our time of need.

I write this to you as a Christian man communicating with another who has some religious background and will consider my words and accept them in the positive manner I intend them.

Of course I wish you and your sick young friend the best in this tough situation. I urge you: please, don't despair.
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Old 06-13-2002, 08:52 PM   #12
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I feel for you Latin Mustang, I lost a friend to cystic fibrosis back in March. We always knew that his time on this earth was going to be short but the suddeness of his passing was still a shock to us all, he was only 25. I saw him when I was home for Christmas and I never thought it would be the last time I saw him. The only advice I can give is to help put a smile on her face for the little time she has left, I would do just about anything to hang out with Kevin one more time so make sure you use whatever time you have.
Crazy Horse GT, sorry to hear about GTLEE, hopefully she'll be able to kep up her fight against the beast.
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Old 06-13-2002, 09:51 PM   #13
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Cancer is always hard to watch happen to friends and loved ones. It was 4 yrs after they caught it in my mom before she passed and it was bad. 1 operation and a few months clean till they it came back and spread all over. Basically spent a little over a yr in the hospital before she died.

I feel for you guys both of you. Just hang in there and you will get through it even though it doesn't seem fair.
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Old 06-13-2002, 10:48 PM   #14
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my grandfather died of colon cancer in 82. he served 42 years on the Lakawanna Railroad. we think it was the chemicals he worked with in the past that caused it. no one knows for sure...............
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Old 06-14-2002, 12:44 AM   #15
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Default Different cause, same result

I lost one of my best friends in Sept, 2 days before the 9/11 attacks (bad month for us) due to complications from his epilepsy. I had never lost a friend before, especially one that I had known for so long (about 10 yrs). It has been tough since then. I think about him daily, but I try to remember that we are all part of the universe, part of a grand plan, and none of us are truly lost. Death is just another change, and our loved ones cannot truly be taken from us.
To paraphrase my philosophy:
We are all energy, and that cannot be destroyed, it can just change form.
End paraphrase.
to quote you:
Why the *** does it have to be her, why can't it be me? Why don't you answer that for me?

Just my .02, but maybe she has filled her reason to be here, and its her time to move on. Its not you because you still have something to accomplish here on Earth.
I say enjoy your time together, in the event of the worst, hold her in your heart, and try to find the meaning behind this, something that can only come with time, I know.
You have my sympathy, and empathy. Remember, there is a reason for this, even if we cant see it right now.
Hope this make sense

Jorge
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Old 06-14-2002, 01:46 AM   #16
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Thanks you guys for the support I believe I get to see her this weekend, she's suppose to be graduating. I really want to see her graduate from highschool. I want see her again before anything happens, I feel so bad for her. I wish there is something I can do to change everything, but I don't have that power. I wish I did but I don't. What you ladies and gentlemen said to me touched me and will not be forgotten. She will always remain in my heart and will have a place to stay spiritually. I love her so much as a friend that I would do anything for her.


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Old 06-14-2002, 03:25 AM   #17
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man, it's not an easy thing to do, to watch someone die, i know it took my mom 18 hours to die, she was out of it, but for 5 or 6 hours i sat there, begging her to go & be at peace, all you can do is hope that they are not hurting, now i find myself facing this again, maybe a lot later, but i still see the storm cloud coming, i dont know how i will handle it, but i know what my dad told me, he said he just thought it really hurt when his dad passed away, but he never really felt the hurt as bad as when my mom passed away, thats, what i am faceing now, but we take it day to day, i cant even talk about this anymore, i will pray for your friend
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95 gt vert, lot's of stuff, it aint slow.

04 sonic blue v - six my beater
89 rs camaro iroc turbo hood, other stuff, my wifes ride
84 lx stang cammed up 289 hi po, etc
65 falcon, maybe by the year 2020.

black 00gt, gone but never forgotten.

R H C- member # 1
o.b.c. da prez- member # 1 if your under 40 dont ask.
goodbye for now odie,r.i.p. 11-27-03
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Old 06-15-2002, 01:33 AM   #18
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Crazy,
I'll put in a good word for you and Odie regularly with "Our Friend." I don't really know what else to say. I look forward to meeting up with you and her someday.
Take cars,
Mike
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Old 06-15-2002, 02:05 AM   #19
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My friend the one that has cancer, I got to see her again tonight, I gave her the biggest hug. I got to see her because she had a mass to go to before graduation. I was so happy to see her and I told her to. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow some more.
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Old 06-15-2002, 02:14 AM   #20
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Latin Mustang

I'm so sorry this is happening,Cancer is responsible for takin the lives of both my grandfathers and has a history throughout our entire family.

As far as your friend,spend as much time with her as you can,share every day with her that you can,and lastly remember this..

Remember the good,happy times that you got to share with this person,for no-one can take these special memories away from you!

I wish I could tell you how many times I've wished to take someone elses pain,suffering just so they would be better,trust me guy,if I had the power I would have traded places in my lifetime as well
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