Need Girl Advice tomrrow.... Please help!

Skyman · 06-11-2001, 04:11 AM

Well Ive been w/ my girl almost a year and a half now. Lately I've been really busy gettin my comptuer company going, and working on my ACN network marketing business. And well she has been less than supportive, and complaining about time with her. Ive tried to explain I won't be this busy forever, but honestly work is my #1 priority right now as I wish to get my self established to make a large amount of money. That just pissed her off. And she and I had argued over it for a few days. Finally I told her it was over, I couldnt stand her being around and being negative about my work and not supporting me in it.

At first it was hard, but I actually started feeling well, and being so busy has kept my mind of it. I have enjoyed not having to worry about someone else, and be able to focus 100% on my work. Anyways, she comes back and completely says she will change, etc etc. I honestly don't belive its true, because of the behavior exhibited before. She claims now she understands how much work it is etc. But I think this would change back if we were to get back together again. so I say NO. Anyways, another day passes and she comes over to watch the laker game today.

Then tonight she calls me asking what she can do to get back together with me. And I really still care for her a lot. I mean being together this long and going through so much together I don't want to hurt her at all. I was trying to be as nice as I could but I said there is no way. And she lost it. Literally crying histerically on the phone with me for an hour and a half. It made me feel like crap, that I made someone feel so bad. Its horrible, I don't want to cause anyone pain and hurt.

She says all her ideas for the future have been crushed etc. When we first started going out... (4-5months) She would say, I just want to marry you etc. And I would say yeah that would be awesome blah blah... It didn't seem like a reality, seemed like way off in the future. Now I realize what kinds of commitments and sutff those are now. I think her goals in life are lower than mine. She wants to just get a job as a teacher and raise a family. Which is great. But I wish to not be stuck down to taht, make a ,ot of money, run my businesses and have some freedom and mobility.

Anyways, after the long crying session I told her we would talk it out tomrrow. I just had to try to ease her pain. I was so close to going back with her, just because I didn't want her to suffer anymore.

Anyways... staying up late sittin here in the dark listening to MTV in the back ground I couldn't help but think of her and get some what sentimental...

I wish someone else could make these kind of decisions for me. I can't take putting someone else through that kind of pain.

Thanks guys...

Skyler

------------------
-1989 Saleen Mustang #406- TFS Heads, E-303, edelbrock intake,70MM TB, 73mm MAF, off road H, headers and 3chamber flows.
12.55@107mph
50-175 Nitrous Works WET Kit just added.

WADS56 · 06-11-2001, 05:29 AM

Thats a tough one. If this was me I would not stay with someone just to make them happy, because I would be unhappy. It takes both people to be happy to make it work.
It sounds like she likes you allot, and by all the stuff she said you might not wan't to let her go... you may regret it. I would give her another chance because all the money in the world wouldn't be worth it if I didn't have someone to spend it with. Even if she dosn't change you could always end it for good if you are still not happy. If she changes though and you don't give her the chance it will always be on your mind if it would of worked out.

Thats what I would do hope this helps

Wade

------------------
347 W/ A-trim 6#'s, Canfield heads, out of the box Systemax II intake, solid roller cam. 11.1 @123mph 1.46 60FT

93lx 5.0 daily driver
MY CAR http://www.mustangworks.com/cgi-bin/...splay.cgi?1288

Luvmi93 · 06-11-2001, 06:19 AM

You did the right thing by being honest with her. DO NOT LEAD HER ON, by letting her think all will be well again. Be kind but firm about how you feel. Your obviously not ready for the same kind of commitment she wants. When you talk to her, tell her she's not wrong about what she wants, but you just aren't the one who can give it to her at this point.

When you find the right partner, you'll know it, and you'll see that things don't always have to be a struggle.

jm2
Good luck.

------------------
Blk. 93LX 5.0 Hatch. 5spd. K&N, Dynomax cat-back.
Stock and Speedy! And I like it like that!
"My Little Toy"
<A HREF="http://www.mustangworks.com/cgi-bin/moi-display.cgi?188" TARGET=_blank>1993 Mustang LX Hatch.
</A>

cptn.stangaroo · 06-11-2001, 07:52 AM

just get back together with her u fool! you know u love her and she loves u. love should come first not buisness, you might not get a second chance at true love, you can always start another buisness

Topless In Texas · 06-11-2001, 08:20 AM

How bout from a women's point of view? I can completely relate to how she feels, the lack of time lately, work keeping you busy, and lack of time together. That is a VERY HARD thing to deal with. Especially if she is at all a ver EMOTIONAL person. You did the right thing by being honest and,telling her it wont go on like that forever. She could have been a little more understanding instead of getting pissed off, but everyone reacts differently to these kind of situations.
After realizing what she did, and coming to terms w/ it, I'm not surprised she said she'd change. Change is hard when you are a certain way. Alot of how successful we are at changing depends on ones emotional level(I truly believe) and how one feels about themselves. This is a VERY HARD thing for some of us to do, we just will give it our best shot, and it's not something that happens over night. We have to think differently about ourselves, and that can only happen in time.
I can understand how you want her to support your and your work, especially if it is something you are really into and enjoy. You dont want to hear negative about it. It just makes you feel bad and guilty, and stresses you out.
I would give her another shot, keep reminding her that it wont be like this forever, let her know that although you are busy, you are still THERE and are THINKING about her.Make some time for her when you can, And In turn, I bet she will start to be more supportive of your postition, And by knowing you ARE still there, and thinking of her, she will feel alot better about the situation, and be alot more positive and supportive.
Trust me: she just needs to know that you are still there. Not saying that you have to see her all the time....Just let her know you're still there.

I feel for her, that's a hard place to be. I know. You're in a hard place too. You dont want to see her hurt. Just stay honest w/ her and tell her your feelings. It always helps when you are honest and open enough to tell the other whats on your mind. If you have a hard time communicating in person, write her a letter telling her whats on your mind, and what you need from her, and leave it on a positive note...
Good luck! THings will work out. I'd hang in there!

------------------
1994 GT.Convertible/Performance Red. Cold Air Ind.,K&N,H.P. Pulleys,OffRoad H-Pipe,Flows,3.55,Light bar,Custom HeadRests.Lotta Chrome

spinemup · 06-11-2001, 08:54 AM

i know a situation like that.... but its reversed. my old g/f goes to school and is very dedicated. when we were dating she would try so hard to fit me into her schedule. but it didnt work too well and she told me she cant do both well. i accepted it though, because i like her so much i gave her some space. i think thats what your g/f needs to do is give you some space. now we hang out whenever we got time to do so... but its not the type of thing where we are dating and we feel like we have to be together all the time. just enjoy having her around but make sure you have your priorities straight.

tireburner163 · 06-11-2001, 10:01 AM

It sounds like she cares for you a great deal, and if you care for her I'd give her another chance. I don't think she started crying just to make you feel bad I just think she was hurt. Besides you'll be kicking yourself in the a$$ for the rest of you life if you really love her and you lose her.

later
Josh

------------------
1990 Dodge Dynasty with 275,000 miles. Mods:chiped paint, CD player. Sucks but it was free. Praying for a stang.
The "Guetto Glider"

If it ain't broke, you ain't tryin hard enough

Mercury · 06-11-2001, 10:16 AM

Skyman, I know how you feel. I've been dating this Girl for 4 years, and all we do is fight.

She says I dont spend enough time with her or give her enough attention.

I give her 90percent of my free time when shes not mad and fighting with me. Between work and her, I didnt have time for anything else.

I told her I want to make her my #1 priority but I cant write now because I'm busy trying to get a full time Position at FedEx so I can get a place of my own. I was going to ask her to marry me then, but now........

Now everythings all f@cked up, I need to figure out what I want to do for a living, not what she wants me to do. I work real late, but I call her from work, go over her house after work, and talk to her alot.

When ever I want to go out with my friends an hang out once in a while, she gets a pissy and starts yelling at me. Saying she not my #1 priority, that my friends are. That is so damn aggrivating, its like she doesnt appreciate all I do for her and all the stress I go through to hurry up at work so we can see each other.

I get her flowers, send her cards, write little poems for her. I dont know.

I thought at first me and her were made for each other. I get upset when i think back to the early days when everything was great and fun. Now we just fight and argue. I'm just trying to think of a way to without hurting anyone. I dont want to hurt her feelings, because I still love her.

06-11-2001, 10:56 AM

Yeah I know this situation all to well also. I go to college full time and work on cars as a side job and hobby (my mustang). At first she acted like she liked my mustang, and then she broke up with me one time and called me in-mature for spending so much time on my mustang.

We got back together and everything was fine, until just recently. Nothing happened she just decided that we would be better off as friends.

She loves to play head games, because she is a very emotional person. Well after I diagnosed my mustang with a bent valve on last Thursday I decided to put my aluminum heads on. I told her I needed it to be running, because I drive it everyday.

She says no problem and I start working on my car at about five o' clock on Friday and finish at about twelve thirty. I go over her house and she greets me at the door very lovingly with a kiss and hug. Well I sit for a few minutes talking and she asks me if I want to go to a bar on Saturday. Sure, so a few more minutes go by and she blurts out doesn't if feel like we are just friends. I said WTF, maybe for you, but not for me.

So I go why did you kiss me and invite me to the bar just a few minutes ago. She says the kiss was not real (WTF) and I didn't mean to ask you to the bar. I then told her how stupid she sounded and said that she needs to lose the middle shcool dating rules from her mind.

After a year and a half I decided that I had enough, I love her dearly and I was going to propose, but not after this sh!t. It's bye bye birdie. No more, my friends have all said to let her go along time ago. But you must follow what you think will be the best for you Sky not what other people say, because everybody has an opinion. Don't ignore people giving you advice, just make decisions based on what you feel is in your best interest.

fastang · 06-11-2001, 11:46 AM

Sky, The question that you have to ask yourself is "Is she a good woman" If you can honestly say yes, and you trust her. Dont let her go, because you WILL regret it. A good woman really is hard to come by and its even more rare when you get a truly good woman to love you. All in all its YOUR decision....good luck.
BTW, I just got the clutch in on Sat. and I replaced my MAF. The cars running TITS, Lemme know when you want to go back to Carlsbad to test your nitrous

I wanna see you hit an 11.

joe4speed · 06-11-2001, 12:18 PM

If you love her, and she says she's willing to TRY, then why not... you can tell her right from the beginning exactly where you stand, and reassure her that it will not be forever, but you have things you have to do. Don't let her go if you really love her.

------------------
Joe! 1988 GT, 167,000 miles!!! 13.58@105mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com
99 Ninja ZX-6R:10.32@135mph!
1993 Olds Eighty Eight LSS 16.40@88.8mph

lazerredgtvert01 · 06-11-2001, 01:49 PM

DUMP HER!!!! Your career is more important right now.

Skyman · 06-11-2001, 02:27 PM

I can't say how much I appreciate all the great and meaningful responces guys. You are all awesome.

Mercury, I can relate so much to the position you are in.

She liked my car, then when it occupied to much time she didnt like it. I used to play basketball a lot, and she said she liked it untill it took up too much time and in a fit she was throwing she was yelling how much she hated basketball.

Then she says, If I really loved her I would have found time around my work. I tried to, but after so was so mean about it, I got bitter to and didn't want to find time anymore, cuz she was just negative bout my work. Also about 6 months ago I was living about 350miles from here, and I was all alone at a new job and life. And I wanted her to come visit. I was rather depressed where I was living. She wouldn't come though, because her parents wouldn't let her. They wouldn't allow her to go spend a few overnights w/ me. That pissed me off. I thought if you really loved someone you would go no matter what. I know if I was in her spot I would have. And she wouldn't understand that.

Maybe I havn't been firm enough with her now. As she had been really bossy coming upto this also. Telling me how to cook things, when to change my tooth brush, how to do stuff. She said she just cared for me and was tryin to help me. But when you say your fine how you are and they wont accept that, and try to force their ways on you, it just pushes you away.

After all this and this negativity towards what I am doing, and the controlling I've become kind of numb. Maybe just because Im so busy workin, and thats my focus and its kept my mind off things. But its really made me not want to be around her right now. Not that I don't like her. I just dont want the responsibility of having to spend time with her. I think things could work out for us in the future, but maybe a break now would be best, and just continue to be freinds...

I hate stuff like this... But mercury I completely feel almost like the same thing you wrote...

Thanks again to everyone for the replys..

Skyler

------------------
-1989 Saleen Mustang #406- TFS Heads, E-303, edelbrock intake,70MM TB, 73mm MAF, off road H, headers and 3chamber flows.
12.55@107mph
50-175 Nitrous Works WET Kit just added.

NoSlow5.0 · 06-11-2001, 04:46 PM

Well Sky, i really can't add much to this seeing as how my thoughts have been expressed already. All i can do is wish you luck and hope that you make the right decission. I'd give her another chance. But make sure she understands were you are coming from in the beginning. Jonathan

------------------
My 87 GT....Marbles

AIM: Marbles87Fox
Light Em Up!!!

fastang · 06-11-2001, 06:00 PM

Sky, I didnt realize that she was being controlling as well. Dump her. The last thing you need when trying to build a career is a controlling woman yelling in your ear. Fortunately my girl is very supportive of nearly everything I do, from Drag racing, to my Job, she even comes to my 11pm hockey games. I told her from the beginning of our relationship that I had my car before her, and I will probably have it when she's gone. So she really doesnt give me any **** about it even though I end up spending nearly every cent I make on this damn car.
She gets cranky around "that time of the month" but I deal with it. Good luck with your career, Maybe you could shoot me some more info on your computer company. I would really like to know more about it.

DemonGT · 06-11-2001, 06:26 PM

i feel your pain....i just went the almost the EXACT same thing..we broke up for a different reason though....but i felt bad so i took her back and it only lasted for like a week and we broke up again..i feel if it dosnt work the first time it probubly never will...but there are some cases where it dose..but i think your better off throwing that one back...sticken another warm on the hook and throw it out and see if you can get a real trophy winner

------------------
'91 GT,91K,T-5,air silencer removed,racing clutch(previous owner put in so dont know what kind),K&N air filter,Mac long tubes,Cat-back,off road H,FMS 9mm wires,Competition gauges,C&L 76mm MAF

Waiting install:TFS street heat,Accufab TB

Future Mods:3.73's,Pro 5.0,TFS heads,TFS stage 1 cam,lakewood struts/shocks,nitto DR's
ICQ#35670781

Five0 · 06-11-2001, 06:41 PM

Hey sky, I went through this same scenario about 3 years ago. I can tell you this, if you don't know if you want to be with here any more, you are doing the right thing by telling her now and not leading her to believe that you will get back together later.

I used to date this girl Mandy and she was always telling me how to do things and always wanted 100% of my time. She was also very jealous and very emotional and I could not deal with it.
We broke up and I told her that we were not getting back together and she was crushed. She did get to where she felt a little better and I felt like I had just had a truckload of stress lifted off my shoulders.
After a few months I started to realize what I had and really missed her so we tried to get back together and it was hard but if we had not broken up and let me get some space to think for a while I would never have realized how much I loved her.

Today we have been together for almost 5 years and we got married last year.

She is still a pain in the butt, but now I know that I could not be happy without her.

Hope this helps!

dinomite · 06-11-2001, 07:39 PM

I'd say give it another couple days at least, and think about what you want to do. No matter what, i'd say get your business all set, get a house, and etc. before making any massive commitment to her.

ed1371 · 06-12-2001, 01:16 AM

Sky, I have a few words to throw out there. Is this the girl you want to spend the REST of your life with? Take it from someone with experiance...a NEEDY, HIGH Maintenance woman will always be so...An overly emotional woman will never just "need less attention".
How do I know? I married one. The "you don't spend enough time with me"/"you don't talk to me" argument really gets old. I am not saying your girl is any of the above...but if she does fall in those catagories, let her go. Make a clean break, you will save a lot of pain for both of you. Look close at your relationship and try to see what I (and I am sure others) missed!

-the emotional void (at least thats what I have been called on occasion!)
ed

Skyman · 06-12-2001, 01:32 AM

Well guys, we talked for quite a few hours, and I actually let her read this thread also.

Anyways, she really convinced me how much she does care for me and love me, and she is sorry for how she was acting. I think she does deserve another chance. Anyways if it happens again then I'll deal w/ breaking up then, but as for now it seems good. Just that fact that she cares enough to change is good.

Although the other girl called me and I told her I got back and she was pissed. Damn she was hot to. Too bad we can't have two..

Sky

------------------
-1989 Saleen Mustang #406- TFS Heads, E-303, edelbrock intake,70MM TB, 73mm MAF, off road H, headers and 3chamber flows.
12.55@107mph
50-175 Nitrous Works WET Kit just added.

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06-11-2001, 04:11 AM	#1
Skyman I need 110mph Trap Speed! Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: So, CA Posts: 4,315	Need Girl Advice tomrrow.... Please help! Well Ive been w/ my girl almost a year and a half now. Lately I've been really busy gettin my comptuer company going, and working on my ACN network marketing business. And well she has been less than supportive, and complaining about time with her. Ive tried to explain I won't be this busy forever, but honestly work is my #1 priority right now as I wish to get my self established to make a large amount of money. That just pissed her off. And she and I had argued over it for a few days. Finally I told her it was over, I couldnt stand her being around and being negative about my work and not supporting me in it. At first it was hard, but I actually started feeling well, and being so busy has kept my mind of it. I have enjoyed not having to worry about someone else, and be able to focus 100% on my work. Anyways, she comes back and completely says she will change, etc etc. I honestly don't belive its true, because of the behavior exhibited before. She claims now she understands how much work it is etc. But I think this would change back if we were to get back together again. so I say NO. Anyways, another day passes and she comes over to watch the laker game today. Then tonight she calls me asking what she can do to get back together with me. And I really still care for her a lot. I mean being together this long and going through so much together I don't want to hurt her at all. I was trying to be as nice as I could but I said there is no way. And she lost it. Literally crying histerically on the phone with me for an hour and a half. It made me feel like crap, that I made someone feel so bad. Its horrible, I don't want to cause anyone pain and hurt. She says all her ideas for the future have been crushed etc. When we first started going out... (4-5months) She would say, I just want to marry you etc. And I would say yeah that would be awesome blah blah... It didn't seem like a reality, seemed like way off in the future. Now I realize what kinds of commitments and sutff those are now. I think her goals in life are lower than mine. She wants to just get a job as a teacher and raise a family. Which is great. But I wish to not be stuck down to taht, make a ,ot of money, run my businesses and have some freedom and mobility. Anyways, after the long crying session I told her we would talk it out tomrrow. I just had to try to ease her pain. I was so close to going back with her, just because I didn't want her to suffer anymore. Anyways... staying up late sittin here in the dark listening to MTV in the back ground I couldn't help but think of her and get some what sentimental... I wish someone else could make these kind of decisions for me. I can't take putting someone else through that kind of pain. Thanks guys... Skyler ------------------ -1989 Saleen Mustang #406- TFS Heads, E-303, edelbrock intake,70MM TB, 73mm MAF, off road H, headers and 3chamber flows. 12.55@107mph 50-175 Nitrous Works WET Kit just added.

06-11-2001, 05:29 AM	#2
WADS56 gear banger Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 1,144	Thats a tough one. If this was me I would not stay with someone just to make them happy, because I would be unhappy. It takes both people to be happy to make it work. It sounds like she likes you allot, and by all the stuff she said you might not wan't to let her go... you may regret it. I would give her another chance because all the money in the world wouldn't be worth it if I didn't have someone to spend it with. Even if she dosn't change you could always end it for good if you are still not happy. If she changes though and you don't give her the chance it will always be on your mind if it would of worked out. Thats what I would do hope this helps Wade ------------------ 347 W/ A-trim 6#'s, Canfield heads, out of the box Systemax II intake, solid roller cam. 11.1 @123mph 1.46 60FT 93lx 5.0 daily driver MY CAR http://www.mustangworks.com/cgi-bin/...splay.cgi?1288

06-11-2001, 06:19 AM	#3
Luvmi93 Registered Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Ocean City, NJ. My car: 1993 5.0 LX Posts: 419	You did the right thing by being honest with her. DO NOT LEAD HER ON, by letting her think all will be well again. Be kind but firm about how you feel. Your obviously not ready for the same kind of commitment she wants. When you talk to her, tell her she's not wrong about what she wants, but you just aren't the one who can give it to her at this point. When you find the right partner, you'll know it, and you'll see that things don't always have to be a struggle. jm2 Good luck. ------------------ Blk. 93LX 5.0 Hatch. 5spd. K&N, Dynomax cat-back. Stock and Speedy! And I like it like that! "My Little Toy" <A HREF="http://www.mustangworks.com/cgi-bin/moi-display.cgi?188" TARGET=_blank>1993 Mustang LX Hatch. </A>

06-11-2001, 07:52 AM	#4
cptn.stangaroo Registered Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: nyc Posts: 29	just get back together with her u fool! you know u love her and she loves u. love should come first not buisness, you might not get a second chance at true love, you can always start another buisness

06-11-2001, 08:20 AM	#5
Topless In Texas Not broken anymore! Join Date: May 2001 Location: La Porte, TEXASS :) Posts: 1,963	How bout from a women's point of view? I can completely relate to how she feels, the lack of time lately, work keeping you busy, and lack of time together. That is a VERY HARD thing to deal with. Especially if she is at all a ver EMOTIONAL person. You did the right thing by being honest and,telling her it wont go on like that forever. She could have been a little more understanding instead of getting pissed off, but everyone reacts differently to these kind of situations. After realizing what she did, and coming to terms w/ it, I'm not surprised she said she'd change. Change is hard when you are a certain way. Alot of how successful we are at changing depends on ones emotional level(I truly believe) and how one feels about themselves. This is a VERY HARD thing for some of us to do, we just will give it our best shot, and it's not something that happens over night. We have to think differently about ourselves, and that can only happen in time. I can understand how you want her to support your and your work, especially if it is something you are really into and enjoy. You dont want to hear negative about it. It just makes you feel bad and guilty, and stresses you out. I would give her another shot, keep reminding her that it wont be like this forever, let her know that although you are busy, you are still THERE and are THINKING about her.Make some time for her when you can, And In turn, I bet she will start to be more supportive of your postition, And by knowing you ARE still there, and thinking of her, she will feel alot better about the situation, and be alot more positive and supportive. Trust me: she just needs to know that you are still there. Not saying that you have to see her all the time....Just let her know you're still there. I feel for her, that's a hard place to be. I know. You're in a hard place too. You dont want to see her hurt. Just stay honest w/ her and tell her your feelings. It always helps when you are honest and open enough to tell the other whats on your mind. If you have a hard time communicating in person, write her a letter telling her whats on your mind, and what you need from her, and leave it on a positive note... Good luck! THings will work out. I'd hang in there! ------------------ 1994 GT.Convertible/Performance Red. Cold Air Ind.,K&N,H.P. Pulleys,OffRoad H-Pipe,Flows,3.55,Light bar,Custom HeadRests.Lotta Chrome

06-11-2001, 08:54 AM	#6
spinemup Registered Member Join Date: May 2000 Location: middleboro,ma, usa Posts: 734	i know a situation like that.... but its reversed. my old g/f goes to school and is very dedicated. when we were dating she would try so hard to fit me into her schedule. but it didnt work too well and she told me she cant do both well. i accepted it though, because i like her so much i gave her some space. i think thats what your g/f needs to do is give you some space. now we hang out whenever we got time to do so... but its not the type of thing where we are dating and we feel like we have to be together all the time. just enjoy having her around but make sure you have your priorities straight.

06-11-2001, 10:01 AM	#7
tireburner163 It's a lot like a race car Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Meridian, MS Posts: 4,130	It sounds like she cares for you a great deal, and if you care for her I'd give her another chance. I don't think she started crying just to make you feel bad I just think she was hurt. Besides you'll be kicking yourself in the a$$ for the rest of you life if you really love her and you lose her. later Josh ------------------ 1990 Dodge Dynasty with 275,000 miles. Mods:chiped paint, CD player. Sucks but it was free. Praying for a stang. The "Guetto Glider" If it ain't broke, you ain't tryin hard enough

06-11-2001, 10:16 AM	#8
Mercury The Redneck James Bond Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Fayetteville NC Posts: 1,707	Skyman, I know how you feel. I've been dating this Girl for 4 years, and all we do is fight. She says I dont spend enough time with her or give her enough attention. I give her 90percent of my free time when shes not mad and fighting with me. Between work and her, I didnt have time for anything else. I told her I want to make her my #1 priority but I cant write now because I'm busy trying to get a full time Position at FedEx so I can get a place of my own. I was going to ask her to marry me then, but now........ Now everythings all f@cked up, I need to figure out what I want to do for a living, not what she wants me to do. I work real late, but I call her from work, go over her house after work, and talk to her alot. When ever I want to go out with my friends an hang out once in a while, she gets a pissy and starts yelling at me. Saying she not my #1 priority, that my friends are. That is so damn aggrivating, its like she doesnt appreciate all I do for her and all the stress I go through to hurry up at work so we can see each other. I get her flowers, send her cards, write little poems for her. I dont know. I thought at first me and her were made for each other. I get upset when i think back to the early days when everything was great and fun. Now we just fight and argue. I'm just trying to think of a way to without hurting anyone. I dont want to hurt her feelings, because I still love her.

06-11-2001, 10:56 AM	#9
88GT5.013.02 Guest Posts: n/a	Yeah I know this situation all to well also. I go to college full time and work on cars as a side job and hobby (my mustang). At first she acted like she liked my mustang, and then she broke up with me one time and called me in-mature for spending so much time on my mustang. We got back together and everything was fine, until just recently. Nothing happened she just decided that we would be better off as friends. She loves to play head games, because she is a very emotional person. Well after I diagnosed my mustang with a bent valve on last Thursday I decided to put my aluminum heads on. I told her I needed it to be running, because I drive it everyday. She says no problem and I start working on my car at about five o' clock on Friday and finish at about twelve thirty. I go over her house and she greets me at the door very lovingly with a kiss and hug. Well I sit for a few minutes talking and she asks me if I want to go to a bar on Saturday. Sure, so a few more minutes go by and she blurts out doesn't if feel like we are just friends. I said WTF, maybe for you, but not for me. So I go why did you kiss me and invite me to the bar just a few minutes ago. She says the kiss was not real (WTF) and I didn't mean to ask you to the bar. I then told her how stupid she sounded and said that she needs to lose the middle shcool dating rules from her mind. After a year and a half I decided that I had enough, I love her dearly and I was going to propose, but not after this sh!t. It's bye bye birdie. No more, my friends have all said to let her go along time ago. But you must follow what you think will be the best for you Sky not what other people say, because everybody has an opinion. Don't ignore people giving you advice, just make decisions based on what you feel is in your best interest.

06-11-2001, 11:46 AM	#10
fastang Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: santa ana ca Posts: 1,349	Sky, The question that you have to ask yourself is "Is she a good woman" If you can honestly say yes, and you trust her. Dont let her go, because you WILL regret it. A good woman really is hard to come by and its even more rare when you get a truly good woman to love you. All in all its YOUR decision....good luck. BTW, I just got the clutch in on Sat. and I replaced my MAF. The cars running TITS, Lemme know when you want to go back to Carlsbad to test your nitrous I wanna see you hit an 11.

06-11-2001, 12:18 PM	#11
joe4speed He said Member...heh, heh Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: Jupiter, Florida U.S.A. Posts: 3,718	If you love her, and she says she's willing to TRY, then why not... you can tell her right from the beginning exactly where you stand, and reassure her that it will not be forever, but you have things you have to do. Don't let her go if you really love her. ------------------ Joe! 1988 GT, 167,000 miles!!! 13.58@105mph Check out my listing! Click here! Or my website:www.joe4speed.com 99 Ninja ZX-6R:10.32@135mph! 1993 Olds Eighty Eight LSS 16.40@88.8mph

06-11-2001, 01:49 PM	#12
lazerredgtvert01 Registered Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: vancouver,washington USA Posts: 2	DUMP HER!!!! Your career is more important right now.

06-11-2001, 02:27 PM	#13
Skyman I need 110mph Trap Speed! Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: So, CA Posts: 4,315	I can't say how much I appreciate all the great and meaningful responces guys. You are all awesome. Mercury, I can relate so much to the position you are in. She liked my car, then when it occupied to much time she didnt like it. I used to play basketball a lot, and she said she liked it untill it took up too much time and in a fit she was throwing she was yelling how much she hated basketball. Then she says, If I really loved her I would have found time around my work. I tried to, but after so was so mean about it, I got bitter to and didn't want to find time anymore, cuz she was just negative bout my work. Also about 6 months ago I was living about 350miles from here, and I was all alone at a new job and life. And I wanted her to come visit. I was rather depressed where I was living. She wouldn't come though, because her parents wouldn't let her. They wouldn't allow her to go spend a few overnights w/ me. That pissed me off. I thought if you really loved someone you would go no matter what. I know if I was in her spot I would have. And she wouldn't understand that. Maybe I havn't been firm enough with her now. As she had been really bossy coming upto this also. Telling me how to cook things, when to change my tooth brush, how to do stuff. She said she just cared for me and was tryin to help me. But when you say your fine how you are and they wont accept that, and try to force their ways on you, it just pushes you away. After all this and this negativity towards what I am doing, and the controlling I've become kind of numb. Maybe just because Im so busy workin, and thats my focus and its kept my mind off things. But its really made me not want to be around her right now. Not that I don't like her. I just dont want the responsibility of having to spend time with her. I think things could work out for us in the future, but maybe a break now would be best, and just continue to be freinds... I hate stuff like this... But mercury I completely feel almost like the same thing you wrote... Thanks again to everyone for the replys.. Skyler ------------------ -1989 Saleen Mustang #406- TFS Heads, E-303, edelbrock intake,70MM TB, 73mm MAF, off road H, headers and 3chamber flows. 12.55@107mph 50-175 Nitrous Works WET Kit just added.

06-11-2001, 04:46 PM	#14
NoSlow5.0 YOU HAVE NO MARBLES!!!!!! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Jonesboro,Georgia,USA (Providence, Ri) Posts: 868	Well Sky, i really can't add much to this seeing as how my thoughts have been expressed already. All i can do is wish you luck and hope that you make the right decission. I'd give her another chance. But make sure she understands were you are coming from in the beginning. Jonathan ------------------ My 87 GT....Marbles AIM: Marbles87Fox Light Em Up!!!

06-11-2001, 06:00 PM	#15
fastang Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: santa ana ca Posts: 1,349	Sky, I didnt realize that she was being controlling as well. Dump her. The last thing you need when trying to build a career is a controlling woman yelling in your ear. Fortunately my girl is very supportive of nearly everything I do, from Drag racing, to my Job, she even comes to my 11pm hockey games. I told her from the beginning of our relationship that I had my car before her, and I will probably have it when she's gone. So she really doesnt give me any **** about it even though I end up spending nearly every cent I make on this damn car. She gets cranky around "that time of the month" but I deal with it. Good luck with your career, Maybe you could shoot me some more info on your computer company. I would really like to know more about it.

06-11-2001, 06:26 PM	#16
DemonGT Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 879	i feel your pain....i just went the almost the EXACT same thing..we broke up for a different reason though....but i felt bad so i took her back and it only lasted for like a week and we broke up again..i feel if it dosnt work the first time it probubly never will...but there are some cases where it dose..but i think your better off throwing that one back...sticken another warm on the hook and throw it out and see if you can get a real trophy winner ------------------ '91 GT,91K,T-5,air silencer removed,racing clutch(previous owner put in so dont know what kind),K&N air filter,Mac long tubes,Cat-back,off road H,FMS 9mm wires,Competition gauges,C&L 76mm MAF Waiting install:TFS street heat,Accufab TB Future Mods:3.73's,Pro 5.0,TFS heads,TFS stage 1 cam,lakewood struts/shocks,nitto DR's ICQ#35670781

06-11-2001, 06:41 PM	#17
Five0 Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: middleburg, fl, usa Posts: 1,134	Hey sky, I went through this same scenario about 3 years ago. I can tell you this, if you don't know if you want to be with here any more, you are doing the right thing by telling her now and not leading her to believe that you will get back together later. I used to date this girl Mandy and she was always telling me how to do things and always wanted 100% of my time. She was also very jealous and very emotional and I could not deal with it. We broke up and I told her that we were not getting back together and she was crushed. She did get to where she felt a little better and I felt like I had just had a truckload of stress lifted off my shoulders. After a few months I started to realize what I had and really missed her so we tried to get back together and it was hard but if we had not broken up and let me get some space to think for a while I would never have realized how much I loved her. Today we have been together for almost 5 years and we got married last year. She is still a pain in the butt, but now I know that I could not be happy without her. Hope this helps!

06-11-2001, 07:39 PM	#18
dinomite The Dude Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 1,262	I'd say give it another couple days at least, and think about what you want to do. No matter what, i'd say get your business all set, get a house, and etc. before making any massive commitment to her.

06-12-2001, 01:16 AM	#19
ed1371 Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 469	Sky, I have a few words to throw out there. Is this the girl you want to spend the REST of your life with? Take it from someone with experiance...a NEEDY, HIGH Maintenance woman will always be so...An overly emotional woman will never just "need less attention". How do I know? I married one. The "you don't spend enough time with me"/"you don't talk to me" argument really gets old. I am not saying your girl is any of the above...but if she does fall in those catagories, let her go. Make a clean break, you will save a lot of pain for both of you. Look close at your relationship and try to see what I (and I am sure others) missed! -the emotional void (at least thats what I have been called on occasion!) ed

06-12-2001, 01:32 AM	#20
Skyman I need 110mph Trap Speed! Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: So, CA Posts: 4,315	Well guys, we talked for quite a few hours, and I actually let her read this thread also. Anyways, she really convinced me how much she does care for me and love me, and she is sorry for how she was acting. I think she does deserve another chance. Anyways if it happens again then I'll deal w/ breaking up then, but as for now it seems good. Just that fact that she cares enough to change is good. Although the other girl called me and I told her I got back and she was pissed. Damn she was hot to. Too bad we can't have two.. Sky ------------------ -1989 Saleen Mustang #406- TFS Heads, E-303, edelbrock intake,70MM TB, 73mm MAF, off road H, headers and 3chamber flows. 12.55@107mph 50-175 Nitrous Works WET Kit just added.