Boy guys and girls, your a great bunch of friends.
Thanks for all the positive talk. I figured out why I'm depressed, its kinda a long story.
I'll try to make it short. Before I do though, You all probably can tell I'm the kind that doesnt hide much.
I feel I dont really deserve any recognition from my family. I dont spend enought time with the ones i love to deserve any gifts or Birthday celebrations. My Job demands so much of me that I end up neglecting everyone around me. Especially my father.
My parents are divorced, and my dad blamed me for the longest time (long story, but if it wasnt for me my mom would of never met my step dad). He finally apologized for blaming me a few years back, he lives in PA, I live in NC, I dont get to talk too him much because our schedules are totally diffrent, and when he comes down to visit, I'm always going out with my girlfriend, or going to work.
I feel bad and unworthy of taking any gifts from him, or any money because I dont feel that I've lived up to his expectations. Not job or financial stability wise, but in a sense, I feel like I'm a bad son, that I've robbed him of having a son.
I feel bad for losing so much time that I could of used to do things with him, and rebuild our relationship.
I'm sorry guys, I'm just wallowing in self-pitty.
Thanks for the birthday wishes though. You all are a great bunch of friends.