No...I CANT DANCE!

[Mercury]

Okay...Mercury is being Negative today. I have another minor quival to vent. Hopefully some of you all can shed some light, or possibly comfort one another from our lack of ability to Get Down and Get Funky.

Okay.. Here it goes. To put it mildly, I have about as much rythm as a Parapalegic, Chimp, having and epaleptic fit. Which translates into Nill, Zero, None.

As a matter of fact, Steve Martin in the movie "The Jerk" has more rythm and dancing ability than I.

So, Why is it that Every Girl I meet, First thing they ask is..."Can You Dance?" or "Do you Like Dancing?"....The Answer is NO andNO

Nope, they dont ask "Are you seeing anyone?", or "Are you Single?" and "You here with anyone?" Not "Are you doing anything tonight" not even "Hey, Whats your Sign?"

When I tell them No...Which I do so Calm and smoothly (How else could I respond...After all I'm nothing but Calm and smooth.. YEah...I'm bieng sarcastic) They Leave, or loose total intrest.

I even tried to get one back by telling them "No, but I work on making cars fast, and race them." Do You know What she said then?????? Thats Nice, But you dont Dance... Argh.....

Maybe me and my friends should break out in some kind of River Dance Routine next time the girls asks.

It will go something like this.
Noticing a girl checking me out, I walk over and attempt casual conversation (thats a laugh...).
Girl: "Do you Dance"
Mercury: With a look of surprise..He points to his chest and replys with a ring of amazement in his Voice ..Do I dance?
Girl: "Yeah, Do you dance, or like to dance?"
Mercury: Repeats while still pointing at himself with both hands "Do I Like TO DANCE....* Pause* I Love to Dance..Watch these and eat your heart out"

Mercury: Snaps fingers and jumps back...Out of Nowhere Two friends jump on each side of me. In a Row, We kick our feet up and start tapping our feet and flailing them about in a mad Frenzy. Behold the Powers of RIVER DANCE.

Seriously Though...What is it about dancing? The more girls that ask me, the more I hate it. I'd love to be able to dance, but it would be like Swing and 50's stuff, and that would just get me laughed out of any place.

Why dont they come up and say..."Hey, You like Racing?" or "Hey, you like Playing Paintball" Or Starring at the stars, or playing video games, or writting, or drawing, or physics, or reading, or working on cars, or picking my nose and scratching my azz?

Does anyone have the answer to this question? Any light shed on it would help.