I Got A Frigin' Ticket Tonight

[induction]

> > > > IMPORTANT REQUIRED READING: WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER!


1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my
beer (OK in Texas).

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar
detector wasn't plugged
in.

3. Ummmm, aren't you the guy from the Village
People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin'about 125 mph to
keep up with me. Good
job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good
physical condition to be
a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee officer, that's terrific! The last
officer only gave me a
warning, too!

10. Do YOU know why you pulled me over? Okay,
just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes,
I know there are no
other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they
are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" you probably shouldn't respond
with, "Gee Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

13. No officer, I don't have any blood in my
alcohol stream.