The Gift I cannot give.

[Mercury]

It is not because of the Holiday seasons that I think of my sister or others. I often do, and others in similar predicaments as mentioned in the thread.

When I was 8 me and a friend I had played a joke on my older sister. At the time it was seemed petty. But things like that have been eating at me for years. I can still hear my sisters cries from that day, even though that was 16 years ago.

When I lived in PA, me and my sister went to the same high school. I was in 9th grade, she was a senior. I remember of an inccident that happened in the lunch room, someone was picking on her, and I didnt go to her help, even though I knew she was emotionally hurt.

I still have "Nightmares" (If you may) about that. In my dream, I want so badly to defend her, but Cant. I find myself unable to move. I usally wake up in tears, and a powerfull feeling of disgust for myself.

No matter how many times I say I'm sorry, I still cant get rid of those memories.