and now Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

Mr 5 0 · 03-06-2002, 05:39 PM

Here's a few more 'Deep Thoughts' from 'Ol Jack:

I' d rather be rich than stupid.

Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, exept there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but - LISTEN TO YOURSELF !

A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

My favorite in this bunch:

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

03-06-2002, 05:39 PM	#8
Mr 5 0 Conservative Individualist Join Date: May 1997 Location: Wherever I need to be Posts: 7,487	Deep Thoughts Here's a few more 'Deep Thoughts' from 'Ol Jack: I' d rather be rich than stupid. Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes. To me, boxing is like a ballet, exept there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but - LISTEN TO YOURSELF ! A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it. If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic. When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns. The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face. My favorite in this bunch: I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.