Democrat Points

[Mr 5 0]

Things You Have to Believe to Be a Democrat Today

1. Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.

2. The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.

3. Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.

4. Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are "political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."

5. "It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to mean...except creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear family.

6. Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.

7. Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.

8. Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.

9. The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every move. This will let them know they're thought of often.

10. Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of the United States.

11. Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.

12. Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.

13. Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and luxury.

14. The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."

15. We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.

16. Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical community can't provide.

17. Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.

18. John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book "Arming America").

19. Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."

20. A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.

21. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't pass in any legislature.

22. "The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).

23. You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the children she bears.

24. Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of President Bush's AWOL status is crucial to national security.

25. Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors and musicians over their asinine anti-American remarks is censorship and 'McCarthyist' blacklisting.



Here's a more up-to-date version:

1. That the state-sanctioned killing of horrible, violent criminals who rape and murder children is, in itself, murder while the killing of innocent unborn children is a medical procedure.

2. That when President Bush made his case for war in Iraq based upon intelligence he received, he was lying to the American people and when John Edwards made exactly the same case for exactly the same war based on exactly the same intelligence, he was 'misled'.

3. That Fox News's single-digit market share of television news as a whole constitutes an "Institutional Bias to the Right" within the media.

4. That mustard gas and sarin gas are not weapons of mass destruction and the fact that they have been found in significant quantities inside Iraq are not proof that Saddam was in violation of U.N. sanctions.

5. That the United Nations is a viable international body, free of corruption and acting in the best interest of the world as a whole.

6. That the solution to the healthcare crisis in America is to elect a trial lawyer who made millions running doctors out of business in North Carolina to the nation's second highest office and enact a 650 billion dollar federal bureauracy to administer our health care.

7. That Sandy Berger "accidentally" removed highly classified documents from the archives by mixing them up with the stuff that he normally carries around with him stuffed down his pants and in his socks.

8. That the no-bid contract awarded to Halliburton by the Clinton administration under which Halliburton is currently operating in Iraq was awarded as part of Hillary's Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

9. That the Democratic Party Chairman and his puppeteers actually want John Kerry to win the election in November.

10. That there is a typo in the Constitution. Al Gore won the election in 2000 because he had more votes. That Electoral College thing wasn't really supposed to be there.

11. That people like Whoopie Goldberg and Michael Moore represent the "heart and soul" of America.

12. That, if given a vote, Osama bin Laden would vote for anyone other than John Kerry.

13. That we need to bow down to the French, Germans, and Russians and ask their permission before taking any action in our country's own defense.

14. That Clinton had a better reason for turning down the Sudanese offer to hand over Osama than "Hold on a minute, guys. I can't make this decision with my pants around my ankles."

15. That today's economy is in horrible shape and that the stock market, the Federal Reserve, and the Labor Department are all on drugs.

16. That the way to really stimulate the economy is to take back the Bush tax cuts because, of course, less money in the economy really stimulates spending.

17. That John Kerry's face would actually fit on a Presidential portrait.

Tons of this stuff - for both parties - is all over the internet, which is where I got these.

"War is a continuation of politics by other means" - Carl von Clausewitz (1780 - 1831)